If You Text It I'll Delete It

[Jen]

Story Title: If You Text It I’ll Delete It

Type of story: One-shot.

Main Characters: Dex & Xavier

BTTB rating: T

Genre: Gen. Friendship.

Does story include spoilers: No (Storyline up to episode ~5275)

Any warnings: Language

Summary: Like all modern romances, Dex finds out via Facebook. Indigo Walker is single

A/N: Originally written for the Quick Fanfic Contest #24 (Unconventional Pairings), but has now been edited to make it more reader-friendly. Title taken from ‘7 Things’ by Miley Cyrus.

--

If You Text It I’ll Delete It

Like all modern romances, Dex finds out via Facebook.

Indigo Walker is single

Indi isn’t going to tell Dex what happened, that much is abundantly clear, (and Romeo is obviously a no-go zone) so he is going to have to figure it out for himself.

April is in her own world, and Dex is really trying this new thing where he is being a supportive friend in real life, as opposed to just liking her status. But occasionally Dex has days when he grabs his laptop and bundles himself into the back corner of the library, in the art history section which no one ever visits, and just blogs.

It’s comforting, and Dex figures it counts as research if he logs in to Facebook to see that Indi has defriended both Romeo and Ruby. Which is, interesting to say the least.

There’s a loud thump, and Dex jumps. There is a low hiss, a muttered curse word and then the next thing Dex knows he is face to face with Xavier.

“Oh,” Dex says, still slightly startled.

Xavier is bending over, collecting the hardcover book that he dropped. Hence, the swearing. Xavier sheepishly picks up the reference and attempts to subtly replace it on the shelf. Dex notices the title.

“Philosophy, huh?”

Xavier flicks his eyes from the spine of the book to Dex. “Yeah. So?”

“Nothing, just. I just didn’t pick you as a philosophical kind of guy.”

“Yeah, well. You don’t know me,” Xavier replies. And well, Dex can’t fault him there.

There’s this awkward moment where Dex should probably turn and leave Xavier to whatever it is that he was doing (and is obviously embarrassed about), but Dex kind of just stands there. Xavier shuffles from one foot to the other.

“Do you know what’s going on with Indi?” Dex blurts out.

“Why would I know what’s going on with your sister?” Xavier asks slowly.

“Well, she and Romeo are not speaking anymore, in fact I’m fairly certain they are broken up, and I just wondered if you knew why,” Dex replies.

Xavier is looking at him strangely. One eyebrow quirked up in confusion, mouth tilted up at the corners. “Again, why would I know that?”

Dex sighs, because apparently he has to spell it out. “You and Romeo. Weren’t you like, ‘bros’?” Dex uses the air quotes and everything. “I figured he might have told you what happened.”

“I’ve had my own stuff to deal with, dude. So, Romeo’s love life is not high on my list of priorities.”

“Would that stuff be philosophy by any chance?” Dex asks, and by the look on Xavier’s face, Dex knows he’s right.

“There’s a girl,” Xavier finally concedes, and Dex rolls his eyes. There is always a girl. “She’s great, and funny, and smart.” Dex is waiting for the catch. “And she thinks I’m a philosophy student.” Ah, there it is.

Dex nods sympathetically. “I see.”

“I didn’t think it would be this confusing, you know?” Xavier confesses.

“I have to admit, learning philosophy to impress a girl, that does take some commitment. But I suppose I could help you out,” Dex says with a shrug.

“You? How could you help me?” Xavier asks, sceptically.

“My dad is a doctor. I have medical journals at my disposal. Not to mention the fact that I’ve been enrolled in online courses for the past two years. Trust me, I can help.”

“What’s the catch?” Dex really likes it when people understand where he’s coming from.

“You need to help me figure out what happened between my sister and your friend.”

--

“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” Xavier complains again.

“Because you don’t want to look like an idiot in front of this girl, whatever her name is.”

“Miranda,” Xavier supplies with a dreamy sigh.

“Right.” Dex doesn’t particularly care.

They are sitting in the Surf Club, and Xavier keeps flicking his eyes across to the pool table, obviously wishing he could be playing, as opposed to studying the intricacies of Schrödinger’s cat.

“I just didn’t think it would be this hard,” he whines.

“Look, personally I think you are setting yourself up for a whole load of trouble by lying to this girl--”

“She made the assumption!”

“--Because she is inevitably going to find out. And then she will dump you, and you’ll be left heartbroken and depressed, and probably go on some rebellious streak because you are unable to deal with your feelings of rejection.”

“Or,” Xavier counters. “Or she will be so impressed because I went to so much trouble that she won’t care, and we’ll be together forever.”

Dex has to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

“I’m just saying. I’m already dealing with one broken relationship. I do not want to be in the middle of another one.”

“Why are you so interested in finding out what happened? I didn’t think you would care,” Xavier says.

Dex shrugs. “Indi is my sister, and as such I don’t actually hate her. And she’s just been so sad lately -- you know, I likened her sullen expression to Bella Swan and she didn’t even react. Nothing.” Dex sighs. “It’s no fun when she’s not fighting back.”

Between Schrödinger’s cat (“No, Xavier. It isn’t animal cruelty.”) and another round of juices, Romeo walks into the surf club. Xavier is running his hands through his hair, frustrated, when Dex looks up and sees him.

“Go talk to him,” Dex urges.

“What? Why me? I’m still trying to work out why someone would keep a cat in a box.”

“Just -- Just go and see if you can find out what he’s doing tonight,” Dex replies quickly, snatching the philosophy text book out of Xavier’s hand and pointing him towards Romeo who is standing at the juice counter.

Dex watches intently as Xavier walks up to Romeo casually, hands in his pockets. He shoots Dex a quick look before opening his mouth.

This is where Dex decides it would be really useful to be able to read lips. All Dex can tell is that Romeo shrugs and doesn’t really react when Xavier slaps him jovially on the shoulder, a great big grin plastered on his face. Romeo opens his mouth, saying one word, maybe, before Xavier is turning heading back to the table.

“Well?”

“Nothing,” Xavier replies resolutely.

“Nothing at all?” Dex can’t believe how little progress they have made. This is certainly turning out to be more difficult than he anticipated.

Xavier shrugs. “He didn’t even seem interested in Miranda. I told him we should hang out tonight, but he said he was busy.”

“Busy with what?” Dex asks.

“I dunno. He didn’t say.”

“Well, why didn’t you ask him?”

“Because it’s none of my business.”

“Of course it’s your business,” Dex snaps, and Xavier seems a little taken aback. “That’s the whole point of this. We need to figure out what he’s done. He could be meeting up for a secret rendezvous, and we need to be there.”

--

Dex drops a note into Xavier’s locker between first and second period, because if they are going to do this, then they are going to need a plan.

Xavier however, just strolls up to Dex in science and waves the folded piece of paper in front of his face. Dex looks up from his text book.

“What is this?” Xavier demands.

“Put that away,” Dex hisses. “That is top secret intel.”

“Top secret--? It’s a piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on it.”

“It’s a code,” Dex replies. Dex wonders why he bothers trying to keep things professional with Xavier around. “Once you decode it, memorise the location then destroy the note.”

“Can’t you just text me?” Xavier asks.

“What if someone intercepts the message? Or your phone goes missing? It could jeopardise the whole mission.”

“This isn’t an episode of Star Wars, there is no mission!”

And Dex is just about to argue with Xavier about the many things wrong with that statement, but Mrs Palmer walks in. Xavier is lucky that their science teacher is his mother otherwise Dex might not have been so restrained. He ends up passing a piece of paper to Xavier when Mrs Palmer’s back is turned. This time sadly, without the secret code.

--

“Dude, what are you wearing?” Xavier asks slowly, eyes taking in Dex’s appearance.

“What?”

Dex is in all black, he’s streaked black war paint under both of his eyes, and if anything he is disappointed that Xavier didn’t take the same initiative. He’s in board shorts and a t-shirt, and if they are going to try to blend in with their surroundings, then Xavier had better hope that there is some sort of Hawaiian foliage, so Xavier doesn’t stand out.

“You look like Harriet the Spy,” Xavier says.

“I don’t know whether I should be offended, or impressed that you actually know who that is,” Dex replies.

They end up watching from a distance, seeing Romeo leave his house and trail him all the way to the Diner. They watch through the window as Romeo sits at a table near the counter, and slip in unnoticed as Irene bundles him up and begins chatting. Romeo looks disinterested as Dex slides into his seat in the far corner, his back to Romeo.

Xavier immediately goes for the menu, and Dex has to slap his hand away, reminding him that they are there to watch Romeo, not eat.

“But your note said to meet you at seven, and that means I’m missing dinner,” Xavier says with a slight pout.

Dex sighs. “Just tell me what he’s doing.”

Xavier looks over Dex’s shoulder. “He’s sitting there.”

“You’re going to have to be a bit more descriptive.”

“I dunno, dude. He’s just texting on his phone. This is verging on being really creepy.”

According to Dex’s exact time-keeping, they sit in the Diner for 32 minutes, while Romeo sips at a milkshake and picks at his fries. Intermittently Dex coyly looks over at Romeo, who doesn’t ever look up. He just continues to stir his milkshake with his straw and stare down at his phone.

Their cover is almost blown by Colleen who bustles over to their table asking to take their orders. She notices Dex’s outfit and asks him if he’s become one of those, “Nemo’s.”

“It’s Emo, Colleen,” Dex replies, while Xavier orders a burger just to p-ss him off.

--

“You know I’m fairly certain that if Charlie caught us creeping in bushes, we would totally get arrested.”

“Spying isn’t a crime,” Dex whispers back. “Now stop talking.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think Miranda will date me if I have a criminal record,” Xavier continues.

Dex elbows him in the side as Romeo stops walking along the beach. He stands for a moment, looking around, and Dex ducks down lower into the prickly bushes at the top of the sand dunes. It’s not the most comfortable position to be in, (with Xavier’s knee in his back) but they’ve got a good view of Romeo on the beach, without him seeing them.

“Or maybe she digs bad boys, in which case I’m barking up the wrong tree with the whole philosophy thing.”

“Xavier, seriously,” Dex hisses.

“Someone’s coming,” Xavier whispers after a while.

Dex looks where Xavier is staring, and sure enough, a small figure is walking towards Romeo. Romeo turns, seeing the person and waits for them to reach him.

“It’s Ruby,” Dex comments, as he recognises the curly hair and short stature. She reaches up and attempts to hug Romeo, but Romeo takes a step back, avoiding her embrace.

They are having some sort of discussion and Dex is trying really hard to work out what they are talking about, but Xavier has decided that now is the most opportune time to talk to Dex.

“What’s going on with April?”

“Nothing,” Dex whispers back, focussing his eyes on Romeo.

“Do you like her, though?”

“We’re friends, of course I like her.”

“That’s not what I meant. Like, like like her.”

“What are we, twelve? I don’t know.” Dex says with a shrug.

“Because I know she’s my ex and everything so this might be a bit weird, but if you want to go out, then I’m cool with it.”

“I’m so glad you approve,” Dex deadpans.

“Wait,” Xavier says after an extended pause. “You’re not gay are you? Because if you are, that’s cool, just, you should probably tell April.”

“Can we just focus, please!” Dex snaps, a little bit louder than he intended. But Xavier closes his mouth, so it’s effective nonetheless.

--

“Wow,” Xavier says. “She must really like him.”

“How can you tell?” Dex asks.

“Ruby is cute, and if she likes you, then she’s not going to take no for an answer. She’s trying every trick she knows. She’s looking up at him through her eyelashes, twirling a piece of hair around her finger. I dated her, so I know.”

“That actually makes sense,” Dex says finally, watching as Ruby steps forward, linking their hands together.

At that move however, Romeo snatches his hand away, exclaiming, “It was just sex!” loud enough so that even Dex and Xavier couldn’t have misheard it. Ruby looks stunned for moment, before ducking her head, turning and running in the opposite direction.

Dex can’t really feel his feet because he’s been crouched in the same position for the best part of an hour, and maybe he stopped breathing for a little while because now he’s feeling a bit light-headed.

“Damn,” Xavier finally says. And Dex can’t really argue with that.

--

Dex sees Romeo next when he’s walking along the beach. He’s supposed to be meeting Xavier, but he hasn’t shown, so there is now this awkward moment where Dex has seen Romeo but Romeo hasn’t seen him. It would be so easy for Dex to just ignore him, to pull out his phone and pretend to be texting someone as Romeo strolls past. But Dex feels this sort of obligation. He has this information, and what’s the point of having it if he’s not going to use it? Or at least confront Romeo about it.

“Hey!” Dex calls out to Romeo. Romeo stops and turns, spying Dex, he holds his hand up in a small wave.

“Look, I know, okay,” Dex says without preamble.

“Know what?” Romeo asks cautiously.

“I know about you and Ruby, and frankly I didn’t think you were that kind of guy.”

“Dex, it’s not what you think-- ”

“So you didn’t have sex with Ruby?” Dex questions.

Romeo looks sheepish. “Well, yeah.”

“While you were still dating Indi?”

Romeo’s brow furrows. He presses his palm into his face, like he’s trying to erase the memory.

“How did you find out?” Romeo finally asks.

“I have my sources,” Dex replies cryptically. “The point is, I’m fulfilling my brotherly obligation by telling you to stay away from my sister.”

“Dex, come on.”

“I’m serious, Romeo. If I see you trying to talk to Indi or anything, well. Let’s say I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”

“Are you saying that you would beat me up? Because, no offense dude, but you don’t strike me as a physical violence type of guy.”

“I have other means,” Dex replies vaguely, before turning and walking away, leaving Romeo more confused than before.

--

“You don’t have to worry about Romeo,” Dex tells Indi.

She’s lying on the lounge, feet up on the armrest, which she’s always telling Dex not to do, but Dex doesn’t say anything.

“What are you talking about?” She sounds tired.

“Romeo. He’s not going to cause any more trouble,” Dex states.

Indi watches Dex for a few moments, probably trying to gauge whether he is being serious or not. He is.

“Look, Dex, just don’t get involved okay?” Too late for that, Dex thinks. “I’ve already had dad threatening Romeo for even looking at me twice.”

Dex is mildly impressed that their father would take an interest. It’s almost like they are a family or something. “Yeah, well. Romeo is a douchebag, he deserves it.” Dex knows that his father can be scary when he gets angry or defensive.

“You know Ruby is now with Casey Braxton,” Indi says finally. She’s got her eyes on the tv screen, pretending to be nonchalant, but her trembling voice gives her away. It hurts more that she’s willing to admit.

“Apparently that girl gets around,” Dex says, raising a critical eyebrow.

Indi sighs. “I just don’t understand why she gets the happy ending if I don’t.”

“Look, Indi. You don’t need Romeo. You don’t need any guy, really. And frankly if you could stay away from dating altogether for a while, say the next five years, then that would be great. It’d keep dad off my back about getting a girlfriend.”

“I knew that you’d have your own motives,” Indi replies.

“Of course,” Dex says with a shrug. “What? You think I actually like you?”

Indi huffs, but Dex sees a trace of a smile on her lips as she says, “Can you just leave me alone to wallow in my own self-pity?”

Dex nods, taking out his phone as Indi turns back to the tv.

To Xavier: Phase 2 is a go. Meet me at 8 am. 900s section of the library.

--

The following morning Dex is waiting from 8am until the first bell for Xavier to show. When he doesn’t, and the librarian kicks Dex out and tells him to go to class, Dex assumes he must have come down with some life-threatening disease and is lying on his deathbed, and certainly won’t be in first period. But as soon as Dex walks in, he sees Xavier, phone out, texting away without a care in the world.

“Where were you?” Dex demands.

“Hey, dude!” Xavier looks up, a broad smile on his face.

“We had a meeting,” Dex says.

“Oh,” Xavier replies, smile faltering for a moment. “Sorry, I forgot.”

Dex heaves a dramatic sigh. “It’s fine,” he says dismissively, although he’s still sort of annoyed. “We just need to go over the plans.”

“What plans?” Xavier asks slowly. He seems to notice the stack of papers in Dex’s hands.

“For Phase 2.”

“Phase 2?”

“Yes. Phase 2: Frozen Yoghurt.”

“Huh?”

“It’s cryptic. Because revenge is a dish best served cold.” Honestly, Dex wonders why he bothers. “You didn’t think we would obtain all that information and then do nothing, did you?”

Xavier glances down at his phone, and Dex can tell he’s itching to get back to whatever he was doing before Dex bombarded him.

“The thing is,” Xavier begins, “I’ve been texting Miranda all day, and I think I’m just about ready to ask her out on a proper date.”

“Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah. And it’s all thanks to you, man.” Xavier stands in his place and slaps Dex on the shoulder affectionately. “She totally loved that whole Ding-Dong-Cat-In-The-Box thing.”

“You make it sound like a nursery rhyme.”

“Who cares? I’ve almost got a new girlfriend who is smoking hot in a bikini and likes me for my brain.” Xavier is positively beaming as he sits back down.

“It’s all going to end in tears,” Dex tells him. “Yours, not hers.” Dex pats Xavier on the shoulder sympathetically, shaking his head as he makes his way to his seat.

Maybe it would all come to this, Dex thinks. Xavier has his girl (almost), and somehow Dex figures he’s closer to understanding his sister, so it’s a win-win. It was never going to be anything longer than a short lived working relationship.

Dex sends a quick text himself before Mrs Palmer starts the lesson.

To Indi: I’ve got your back. And the plans to prove it.

But if Dex has learned anything from this experience it would be that he needs to be a bit more selective when deciding on a sidekick for future reconnaissance missions. Maybe with the right training, VJ could be a faithful companion.

END.

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