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Please Be Mine


Guest Jen

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Story Title: Please Be Mine

Type of story: Long fiction

Main Characters: Geoff & Aden

BTTB rating: A

Genre: Romance/Angst

Does story include spoilers: No

Any warnings: Slash, Violence, Sexual content, Language, DR [Any additional warnings will be given at the start of the relevant chapters]

Summary: He still remembers the scenes from the trawler as though they only happened yesterday. And while he wants to be able to move on, be able to do something constructive with his time, there is this small part of him that worries that when he stops thinking about it, it will be as though it never happened.

Total word count: ~51, 600

The story between Rescue Me and Reading Between the Lines. Also known as the fic that ate my life.

A/N: Dedicated to Anaya for her awesome encouragement to write this, and companionship in shipping these two boys.

--

Please Be Mine

Chapter 1

“Geoff?”

“Hello? Earth to Geoff?”

Geoff hears his name being called but doesn’t make any effort to move. His eyes are fixated on the one slice of toast on his plate. They are completely glazed over, the only thing he is concentrating on is breathing. Making sure it is constant; never-ending.

Using all the energy he can muster he finally blinks, ending his prolonged stare. Slowly, he glances up at the source of the voice. His sister, Annie, is sitting opposite him at the round table, a concerned look on her face.

“Geoff, are you okay? You’ve been in a weird head space for ages now.”

Geoff doesn’t reply, just uses one hand to run his fingers through his matted hair.

“Has something happened? I’m beginning to get really worried.”

Geoff looks away from his sister for a moment before finally meeting her worried expression.

“I’m fine, Annie,” he says. “Just haven’t slept well, that’s all.” If he’s completely honest he hasn’t slept well in ages. Ever since -– He doesn’t want to think about it anymore. He’s been obsessing over what happened for what seems like an eternity. He’s tired and irritable, and knows that Irene and Annie are sick of it. He’s tried snapping himself out his mood multiple times, but he just can’t seem to bring himself to completely let it go.

It is driving him crazy. He still remembers the scenes from the trawler as though they only happened yesterday. And while he wants to be able to move on, be able to do something constructive with his time, there is this small part of him that worries that when he stops thinking about it, it will be as though it never happened.

Geoff still recalls the exact words that Aden spoke. He can hear them in his mind as though Aden is whispering directly in his ear. “Something’s changed.”

At the time, Geoff thought he meant that they had gotten over the trivial bickering, and Aden finally had some sort of peace of mind following the loss of Belle. But the more he stewed on the way he said it, the exact moment, what preceded and followed, Geoff is sure that he meant something more. But he can’t be certain. He hasn’t spoken to Aden since.

He knows that it is stupid to keep avoiding him. And living in a small seaside town means that they will run into each other eventually. But he is hoping that when that time finally comes he will have something to say. And at the moment Geoff is struggling just to string more than two words together in a sentence.

Geoff blinks again, and realises that Annie is still staring at him. He forces his lips together and tries to form some sort of smile, but instead grimaces.

“Seriously, what’s going on?” Annie demands.

“It’s nothing,” Geoff replies with a bit more earnest.

He uses both his hands to stand up from the table and is about to walk away from this conversation when Annie continues,

“Aden called.”

Geoff stops. Dead in his tracks. His breath momentarily hitched in his chest. It takes what seems like forever to recompose himself. He has to take two long and deep breaths, heaving a silent sigh before turning back to his sister.

“When did this happen?” Geoff asks, trying to appear nonchalant and failing miserably.

“Earlier,” Annie says with a small shrug. “You had finally gone to bed and I didn’t want to disturb you.” Geoff has spent many nights watching late-night infomercials and pacing around the living area, and it is only in the early hours of the morning, when he doesn’t think he can hold his eyelids open, that he retreats to his room and attempts to put his head on his pillow.

“Did he say anything?”

“Not much. Just that he was going to be down at the surf club for a bit. And he mentioned something about working on the trawler.”

“Right, thanks.”

Geoff wanders into the bathroom in a daze. He lets the warm water run down his back, and closes his eyes. He lets the rising steam fog up the mirror and swirl around his body. He adores the way he feels the tension suddenly disappear. Like all his worries are being washed down the drain. But at the same time he has come to dread the time he spends alone. In the emptiness of the tiled bathroom, it is just Geoff and his thoughts. Or rather, thought. The singular. There is only one thing that occupies his mind.

Aden.

He has flashes of his limp body as he dragged it out of the water. The cone of silence that seemed to exist while he watched him, lying perfectly still on the deck. The distinct shade of hazel of Aden’s eyes as they finally opened and his body came back to life. The most important feature of all, and the one that has plagued Geoff’s memory for the longest time, is his lips. Their rough feeling under his own, the way they felt like ice and practically sucked the heat out of him, how they could go from a pale shade of blue all the way through to pink, and the way they seemed slightly crooked as he relaxed into a smile.

Geoff wonders, not for the first time, whether Aden remembers much about what happened that night. After Aden spent the night in Belle’s old room he didn’t say much. Just thanked Irene for letting him stay before excusing himself and returning home. He certainly didn’t give any clues as to whether he had been stewing over this as much as Geoff had. This frustrates Geoff and he lets out a strained groan. The deep noise that escapes reverberates around the bathroom and booms inside the shower. The strength of his own frustration confuses Geoff and catches himself off-guard.

Reluctantly he shuts off the water and gives his head a quick shake before stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist. He knows that Irene is at work and Annie should be out of the house, doing whatever it is little sister’s do to occupy the time, so he doesn’t bother to properly dry off.

In his own fogged up daze, Geoff walks from the bathroom and heads towards his bedroom. He thinks he is alone, but spins around suddenly when he hears a deep, throaty cough from behind.

Aden is standing in the doorway, his arms folded comfortably across his chest. Geoff’s eyes pan up to Aden’s face which is caught between what Geoff suspects is joy, confusion, humour and surprise. Geoff’s hands immediately wrap tightly around the piece of cloth that is loosely hanging around his hips. It suddenly seems like it is way too thin to possibly cover everything and should be at least three times the size that it is. Although he is still hot from the shower, Geoff can feel the pink spread from his cheeks all the way to the tips of his ears.

He gulps, caught between wanting to turn and make a bolt for his bedroom, but he is scared that if he moves the towel will reveal a little more than he hopes for.

Aden lets out a low whistle and makes his first step in from the door frame to the kitchen.

“Listen Campbell,” he says, “I didn’t realise you were so keen.” His familiar lips form a smirk and Geoff can’t seem to hold his gaze. His eyes flick from his own naked torso to Aden’s amused expression, back down to the towel -- just making sure it was still there, then back to Aden.

Geoff is standing perfectly still as Aden strolls across the living room to where Geoff is standing. He tucks his hands comfortably into the pockets of his jeans, letting his eyes freely wander over Geoff’s body.

The thumping in Geoff’s chest suddenly becomes deafening as he realises that Aden is blatantly staring at him. And while Geoff knows he is not unfit, he suddenly becomes extremely self-conscious with the amount of skin that Aden is seeing.

Aden can sense that Geoff is uncomfortable but wonders just how far he can push him before he breaks. He takes one slow step after another, inching his way closer towards the squeaky clean Bible boy. He lets his lips curl up into a small grin as he approaches, watching as Geoff’s eyes dart all over the living area, never settling in one spot.

Aden lets out a low sigh, which comes out as more of a hiss, and he watches as all the muscles in Geoff’s upper body seem to tighten, particularly around the piece of towel he is holding in both hands. He notices that his knuckles are turning white from the amount of force he is exerting just making sure that Aden doesn’t see more than he bargained for.

“I was hoping we could talk,” Aden finally says.

“Now?” Geoff asks.

“Now would be good,” Aden clarifies.

“Can I put some clothes on first?”

Aden’s face falls and Geoff hopes that he is only playing around, attempting to portray disappointment. With a sigh he replies, “If you must.”

Aden settles himself on the lounge while Geoff scuttles awkwardly into his bedroom. He can hear the door click shut and the possible crunch as Geoff pushes something heavy against the door, just ensuring he will be alone while he dresses.

Geoff comes out moments later dressed in a pair of jeans and plain tee. He rounds the lounge and spies Aden’s sitting position. He has strategically placed himself on the two seater lounge, just off-centre but not close enough to the edge so he has left enough room for Geoff to sit next to him, without there being some sort of skin touching.

Geoff likes to think that he has good manners, and in any other sort of circumstance would have happily occupied the same lounge as his visitor. But at that moment, his hair is still dripping from the limited time he had to dry off, and he is sure that his face is still flushed pink from the warm water among other things, so he doesn’t completely trust himself to sit so close to his guest. He chooses the casual position of perching himself on the arm of the lounge, on the opposite end to Aden.

“What did you want to talk about?” Geoff asks when he realises that Aden is not going to start.

“I was just wondering whether you were going to show your face down at the docks anytime soon.”

Geoff just shrugs.

“Hey, this whole ‘Let’s-work-together-on-the-trawler’ thing was your idea, remember?”

Geoff nods.

“Well, it’s not so much of an ‘us’ if I’m down there on my own,” Aden says.

“Sorry,” Geoff mumbles.

“I don’t want to hear sorry,” Aden says with a sigh.

Geoff cocks his eyebrow as he watches Aden’s profile. He crinkles his eyebrow, like he is carefully thinking about what he will say next.

“I just want you,” Geoff’s heart skips a beat. “You to help me on the boat,” Aden clarifies. “It’s too much for me on my own.”

“Right,” Geoff replies, taking a moment to kick-start his own brain, “It’s just --”

“Just what?”

“It’s just I don’t think I’m cut out for that sort of thing. The whole trawler thing was just an excuse to help you out. I’m not really made for it.”

“Not made for it? What are you talking about? You rescued me. If it wasn’t for you I would be --”

“Don’t say it,” Geoff snaps.

Aden ignores Geoff, “Sleeping with the fishes.” He lets his mouth form a smirk at his own clever pun.

“Face it, Aden. If I wasn’t out on that boat with you then I wouldn’t have caused you to get angry, and I wouldn’t have tossed you overboard in the first place. I’m a liability out there!”

“No, you’re not,” Aden says determinedly.

“Aden --” Geoff begins to argue, but Aden doesn’t let him finish.

“Just, shut up, Geoff!” Geoff immediately closes his mouth and obediently waits. “How many different ways to I have to say it? I want you out there on the trawler.”

He looks up and pauses before adding, “With me.”

--

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Thank you so much for the comments. Anaya, I knew you'd be all in here flailing all over the place (which I appreciate, by the way), but it's nice to know there are other people reading the story too.

The link to Reading Between the Lines is fixed. Thanks for the heads up, Scotcaz22.

--

Chapter 2

It’s the first time Geoff has been back out on the boat since. It surprises him that there is no great big firework display or any sort of revelation when he sets foot onto the deck. He’s built it up into a big deal, that he expects there to be some sort of repercussion for his actions. For the past week all his memories have been divided up into Before and After -- Before the trawler and After they came back to shore -- and he’s convinced himself that returning to the trawler will cause certain things to happen again.

Aden looks over his shoulder as Geoff stands awkwardly on the dock, just staring at the vessel. He cocks his eyebrow in a way that only Aden seems to be able to and says, “You know, you would be more use to me if you were actually on the boat.”

Geoff forces a smile and takes his first step.

He doesn’t feel any different than before. There’s no blinding white light or angels singing from above as he makes his way across the deck and perches himself on the edge of the boat. The trawler still has a motor; the captain’s cabin opens out onto the deck. Geoff can see the steering wheel and numerous dials along the dash. He stares for a moment at the wooden flooring. There is no smudge, no marks. If someone was seeing the boat for the first time they wouldn’t have known any different. Nothing seems to have changed at all, and Geoff feels his stomach fall just ever so slightly.

“Come on then.” Geoff is pulled out of his own reflection by Aden’s suddenly chirpy voice.

“What?”

Aden nods his head in the direction of the cabin.

“You going to help me or not?”

“I dunno Aden --” Geoff begins, ready to list the numerous reasons why Geoff getting involved in anything remotely mechanical is dangerous.

“Don’t start this again,” Aden says with a strained sigh, his shoulders sag as he looks down at his feet, almost embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” Geoff apologies, also sheepishly looking away, knowing that they are getting nowhere fast, “It’s just I’m not as good at this kind of thing as you. I was brought up on a farm, and even then, Pop wouldn’t let me anywhere near the tractors. I mean, I can drive them and everything, but if it breaks down them I’m hopeless.” He holds his hands up in a sign of defeat.

“Then why don’t you leave all the fixing to me,” Aden replies. “We just need to find something you’re good at.”

“Pity there isn’t a wire fence that needs building,” Geoff mutters.

Aden overhears and lets out a small chuckle, shaking his head slightly.

Geoff doesn’t like to feel useless so begins to wrack his brain for something he can do to help. He doesn’t want Aden to think he can’t pull his weight. The thought of Aden considering him a dead weight when they are out on the ocean hurts Geoff more than he knows it should. He uses his eyes to scan both the open deck and cabin of the trawler for something, anything, that he might be good at.

His line of sight falls on the steering wheel, black and still in the cabin. He realises that this is a definite possibility. Aden seems to have forgotten that Geoff is even there, as he’s busy pottering around on the deck. Aden’s muscles flex as he pulls extra hard on the thick rope, winding it into a tight circle and heaving on the net. Geoff stands and makes his way silently into the cabin. He can immediately detect the slight smell of musty carpet, combined with fish and sea water. He has to take a couple of slow breaths through his mouth to contain his nausea. Last time he was in here, the smell hadn’t been his top priority.

Carefully Geoff slides his hand along the dash, around each of the dials with his index finger, making swirly patterns. The wheel is hard and cold under his touch. Slowly he wraps his fingers around it and smiles to himself, liking the way it feels.

He turns back and looks over his shoulder.

“I’ve got it!” he exclaims. Aden stops what he is doing with the netting and straightens up, arching his back slightly. He dusts of his hands on his shorts as he makes his way towards Geoff.

“Got what?” Aden asks.

“What I can do,” Geoff states happily, trying to contain the broad smile that wants to creep onto his face. Aden arches an eyebrow and waits. “I want to drive the boat.”

Geoff’s face immediately falls when he sees Aden’s reaction. He chuckles and shakes his head dismissively.

“Look Geoff, I really appreciate you wanting to help and all, but this isn’t the best way to go about it.”

“Why not? I told you before; I can drive a tractor, what’s the difference in steering a boat?”

“First of all, we’re out on the water, not a farm. Secondly, you don’t have a boating licence. Thirdly, there are a lot more things you need to think about, like winds and currents and other boats.” Aden waits and Geoff momentarily contemplates this.

“So, if I get a licence I’m good to go?” Geoff asks hopefully.

“No,” Aden says defiantly. “I’m not putting my life in your hands again.”

“You’re the one who wanted me out on this stupid boat again in the first place!” Geoff replies, taking his hand off the steering wheel and waving them in the air.

“Oh, so now this is just a stupid boat? Why do you want to drive it if you think it’s so stupid?” Aden counters.

Geoff bites down hard on his bottom lip and glares angrily at Aden. Aden sighs and drops his gaze, “Look man, it’s not that I want you to feel useless.” Geoff instantly forgets he’s mad at Aden, his expression softens. “It’s quite the opposite actually.” It’s Geoff’s turn to quirk his brow and silently asks for an explanation.

Aden looks up, looking eyes with Geoff, “Just you being here is pretty useful.”

Geoff is suddenly dropped right back into the middle of the last time. The same sincerity following Geoff pulling Aden from the water is back in Aden’s voice. His tone is quiet but certain, and Geoff can immediately visualise his wet face, pale but thanking him for saving his life.

“But I want to be able to do something,” Geoff says, a slight whine in his voice. He knows it’s immature to want to do something like this, but he can’t help it. Aden being completely competent out on the water and Geoff sitting to the side and looking pretty isn’t really going to cut it.

Aden drops his shoulders and darts his eyes from the steering wheel back to Geoff’s face. He closes his eyes and heaves a dramatic sigh, “Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“I’ll teach you how to drive the trawler.”

“Are you serious?” Geoff’s eyes bulge out his face as he tries to contain his excitement.

“Surprisingly, yes.” Aden opens his eyes, one at a time to watch Geoff’s expression. His cheeks have flushed red and a broad grin on his face. He watches as Geoff turns back to the wheel, this time gripping it tight with both hands and gazing out the front window. He can almost see directly into Geoff’s mind as he imagines himself taking charge and pretending to steer the boat through unchartered waters.

-

“Aden, this is stupid,” Geoff complains for the thirty-second time.

“If you think I’m going to just hand over the keys and let you loose on the water, then you’re delusional,” Aden replies from the floor.

He looks down at Aden sitting cross-legged at his side. Geoff is perched uncomfortably on the wicker high chairs that have been pulled away from the breakfast counter, wearing a bright yellow lifejacket, even though the nearest body of water is the small amount in the kitchen sink. What was the lounge is now a series of islands and land marks which Geoff is supposed to be navigating through, but he can’t get past the fact that there are floral patterns on them and he’s holding a colander.

“I feel stupid,” Geoff whines.

“Well, you look even stupider,” Aden says with a smirk.

“That’s it, I’m out of here,” Geoff replies, standing up from his driving position and beginning to turn away. Before he can even take a step and put the ‘steering wheel’ down, he feels his wrist caught. He instantly looks down to see it encapsulated by Aden’s larger palm.

“I’m joking, I’m joking, alright?” he says with a smile. “Just sit down.” With a sigh, Geoff does what he is told. Although Aden has released him from his grasp, he can still feel the warmth of his hand around his wrist. He shakes his head, trying to ignore the heat that is radiating from the closeness of their bodies.

Geoff readjusts his seating position and grabs the handles of the colander.

“Alright, start the engine,” Aden instructs. Geoff sighs heavily, taking his time to ensure Aden knows just how ridiculous this whole charade is. “Start the engine,” he repeats.

Geoff reaches over and uses his fingers to twist Aden’s ear. It too is warm in between his digits. He can see the grin on Aden’s face widen and Geoff instantly pulls his hand away. Aden begins to make revving noises with his lips as he pretends to be the starter motor.

“Alright, check your gauges.”

Geoff looks away from Aden’s profile and reaches out to touch the red capsicum that has been lined up in front of him on the coffee table. The instant his hand touches the fruit Aden is scolding him,

“No, no, no, no. Green capsicum is the temperature gauge; the red apple is the compass.”

“Check. Check,” Geoff reluctantly touches the appropriate ‘gauges’, before reaching out for the eggbeater Aden is holding up. He yanks back on it hard and fast, because he’s fed up.

“Wait! What are you doing?”

“I’m reversing, what does it look like?”

“Check all your gauges though; we’ve been through this a billion times.”

“This is dumb,” Geoff whines again, making sure that Aden hears him. It’s one thing to be taught how to steer a boat, it’s another to be completely humiliated by playing sailors and pirates in the lounge room when you’re eighteen years old. But he has to keep going, knowing that this is the only way he will ever feel like he deserves to be out on that trawler, regardless of what Aden says. So he sucks it up and starts the motor, that is, twists Aden’s ear when he tells him to.

They are still practicing over an hour later. The sun is beginning to set and long shadows are being cast outside, but Geoff is still sitting in the uncomfortable chair, with Aden on the floor beside him.

“Alright, pull into a stop,” Aden says, his voice flat and tired.

Geoff pulls back on the eggbeater in a swift motion, just hoping that they are nearly finished.

“Whoa, whoa. Settle down,” Aden replies.

“Well, you said pull the eggbeater so I pulled the eggbeater.”

“It’s not an eggbeater you idiot, it’s a gear lever. It’s got to be treated with respect,” Geoff just rolls his eyes.

“Maybe you should be clearer next time,” Geoff mutters under his breath.

“Well, maybe if you were thinking about what we are doing instead of other things, we might not have to go through this,” Aden snaps.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you’re stuck out at sea, you can’t be thinking about chicks the whole time,” Aden replies seriously. He looks up at Geoff and Geoff can see the exhaustion in his face. The little bead of sweat resting on his temple; the dark circles beginning to form under his eyes. Although there are moments where it appears the Aden of old has returned, Geoff knows that he still isn’t whole. He has lines on his face that have only recently appeared, and while no one else may have noticed, Geoff can tell that he is still broken. Rather than feeling pity, this just makes Geoff more determined. He wants to get this right, to prove to Aden he is not useless and that he can rely on him. To prove that saving him was not a once off; that he is here for the long haul.

“We don’t want a repeat offence of what happened last week,” Aden continues. Geoff opens his mouth, ready to apologise once again but Aden ignores him and says with a smirk, “Me waking up with your tongue in my mouth.”

Geoff is floored.

--

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Thank you for the review RR1 :).

Sub-conscious dating may be one of my favourite things to write.

--

Chapter 3

They seem to be spending more time on the boat now. And Geoff is finally content. Aden still won’t let Geoff drive unsupervised, but he doesn’t mind because he can’t help but smile as he feels Aden’s attentive eyes on his back as he turns the keys and starts the engine.

They are both standing in the cabin, Aden hovering around Geoff’s shoulder, as Geoff attempts to moor the boat. He’s done the theory and is sure he can manage it himself, given he has a licence now and all, but Aden keeps watch just to make sure. While Geoff won’t admit it, driving the trawler is different to driving a tractor down on the farm. The steering is not as stiff, one small turn too far either way and they would be severely off course. Not to mention the fact that he has Aden watching over him, commentating in his ear, instead of his grandfather.

“Don’t get too close, we don’t wanna scrape the side,” Aden states as Geoff tries to manoeuvre the boat into the pier. He pulls back on the lever and shifts into a lower gear. The engine rumbles and Aden is standing right by his side, his chest half-pressed against his back. His breath is warm on his neck causing his hairs to stand on end.

“Is this right?” Geoff asks, pulling on the wheel so that the boat is heading towards the dock.

“Not so much,” Aden says, moving even closer. “Like this.” He places his hands over the top of Geoff’s carefully moving the wheel back slightly so the boat lines up exactly parallel to the pier. Geoff barely notices that the trawler pulls up gently against the wooden dock and Aden has cut the motor.

“Perfect,” Aden murmurs and Geoff swallows hard.

-

With one final wipe with the cloth the cabin is finally clean. Geoff sighs with content and tucks the now filthy cloth in the back pocket of his jeans, so it is partially hanging out over the edge. In one swift move Aden has come up behind and yanked the cloth out and is now twirling it in the air. Geoff watches as Aden stops the twirling, drops the cloth to the floor and casually kicks it to the side.

“Hey!” Geoff exclaims. “I just cleaned up in here.”

“Come on, Geoff,” Aden replies with a whine. “It’s only going to be us out here. No one is going to care if there is a dirty rag on the floor.”

“I care,” Geoff says, striding over to the corner and picking up the cloth. He folds it in half before draping it over the railing underneath the steering wheel. Geoff hears Aden’s loud sigh.

“Well, if you’re done being all domestic in here, I think it’s time to go,” Aden says. Geoff tries to shoot him a glare, but Aden just smirks in return.

They both step off the trawler and onto the pier. Geoff is about to walk home, when Aden grabs hold of his upper arm. He turns him around so they are directly facing each other. Geoff feels his upper body tense, his muscles burning under Aden’s strong touch. For a moment Geoff thinks that Aden might be going to kiss him, or possibly hit him -- he’s not quite sure.

But instead Aden just lets out a low chuckle and says, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Uh... home?” Geoff manages a blink, but his eyes instantly dart to Aden’s perfectly pink lips.

“Well, what about tonight?”

“Tonight?” Geoff gulps.

“Yeah. What are you doing tonight?” Aden’s voice is smooth and deep, while Geoff’s is high and strained. Geoff is already embarrassed and he’s not sure where this conversation is going.

“Nothing?” he replies pitifully. Since he’s been helping Aden there has been very little room for socialising.

“Great,” Aden says with a smirk. “I’m taking you out.”

“Aden, I dunno --” Geoff begins unsurely. He’s a bit worried what Aden constitutes as ‘a night out’.

“C’mon,” Aden says, nudging Geoff in the ribs. “You’ve gotta eat some time.”

Geoff sighs, but nods in reply.

“Awesome,” Aden replies, giving Geoff one last friendly nudge before striding past him, leaving Geoff on the edge of the pier. Alone. Geoff takes one last look over his shoulder when Aden also turns. His face is bright, his mouth forming a cheesy grin. He calls out to Geoff one last time, “Be ready by seven!”

Geoff just nods once more, because his mouth hasn’t caught up with what has just happened. Then it dawns on him. He is going out. To dinner. With Aden.

Geoff shakes his head slowly to himself, wondering how he has possibly got himself into this situation. His body is starting to recover. He lets out the breath, he only now realises he has been holding, before turning and beginning to walk away from the boat. The afternoon breeze has picked up and is blowing around his body, but Geoff doesn’t feel cold. If anything his chest is radiating warmth, while his heart pumps hard.

Geoff finally reaches the house, still slightly dazed, but this little ridiculous smile threatens to creep onto his face each time he thinks about his plans for that evening. He’s knows it’s stupid to be this happy about it, but then he remembers -- it’s Aden.

He finds himself humming as he rummages through his chest of drawers looking for something to wear. He’s only got his boxers on and is standing in the middle of his bedroom, arms folded across his chest as he stares at the open drawer, t-shirts overflowing onto the floor. He’s pulled out assorted pieces of clothing and then discarded them to the side. Nothing seems to be right. He knows he is never going to make a decision by just standing there staring at it all. Finally, Geoff spies a shirt on a hanger, hanging over the back of his doorknob. It’s collared, a bit dressier than the clothes he normally wears, but for some reason he thinks it’s perfect for tonight. He puts it on, over the top of his black pants.

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, Geoff evaluates his appearance. If Irene or Annie had walked in at that moment they might have thought it was some sort of special occasion. He wouldn’t have blamed them for even thinking he was going on a date. But he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. This was Aden. He wrinkles his brow at this sudden thought. He has to remember to keep breathing and not focus on the butterflies that have decided to flap their wings in his stomach.

Geoff doesn’t realise the time when he finally leaves his bedroom. He is fixing his hair and making sure he’s shirt is crease free when he hears the familiar sound of Aden clearing his throat. Geoff turns and sees Aden standing casually in the doorway. He’s wearing a t-shirt that Geoff has seen him wear many times over a pair of jeans, the bottom hems ripped to shreds.

While Geoff is taking in Aden’s appearance, Aden is doing the same. He lets out a long, low whistle and Geoff blushes.

“I didn’t realise you were going to go to so much trouble,” Aden comments.

“Sorry, I , uh,” Geoff fumbles for the words to explain the excitement, how much he was looking forward to going out with him tonight. But Aden is just so much more pulled together and cool about the whole situation, that Geoff just gives up and regrets even thinking those sort of thoughts.

“I’ll go change,” Geoff says quickly, and immediately begins to retreat to his bedroom.

“No, wait!” Aden calls, still in the doorway. Geoff slowly turns back, to see Aden’s outstretched hand. Like, if he had been closer, he would have reached out and grabbed hold of Geoff to stop him running away.

“I like it,” Aden says, nodding in approval.

“It’s not too ...?”

“No,” Aden says with another nod, “You look great.”

“Okay,” Geoff replies finally, “Just let me grab my wallet.”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it,” Aden replies.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind paying my own way,” Geoff offers.

“It’s cool,” Aden says. “I’ve got it sorted.”

Geoff is forced to shrug in reply and follow Aden out of the house, letting the door close behind him.

Aden drives and Geoff occasionally comments on the progress of the trawler, the weather, and anything else he can think of while still avoiding the topic of what Aden has actually planned for that night. It is not until Aden stops the car and turns off the ignition that Geoff realises that they are in Yabbie Creek, parked outside a quaint Italian restaurant.

The lighting is dim and there is the faint tinkle of a bell as they step over the threshold. Small square tables are arranged across the floor, with plain white table cloths and stainless steel cutlery. There is the low hum of various conversations as the smell of garlic and tomato wafts through the air. Aden has stepped forward to the front desk, greeting a short, round lady.

“Table for two,” Aden says, holding up two fingers for emphasis.

She looks between Geoff and Aden for a moment, before giving them both a small smile. They follow her across the floor to a small table in the very far corner, one edge directly on the wall. Three empty chairs occupy the other sides of the table. The lady sweeps in and pulls away the middle chair so that only two remain, facing each other, on opposite sides of the table.

“Thanks,” Aden replies, sweeping a charming smile at the lady, who is apparently doubling as a waiter. She scurries away to fetch menus while Aden steps towards the table and pulls out one of the chairs. Geoff watches and waits, expecting Aden to sit down at the table. Instead, Aden is standing there holding the chair out, waiting for Geoff.

Geoff feels a little embarrassed that Aden is treating him this way, but there is this part of him, that is flushed not from embarrassment but glee. As soon as Geoff is sitting, Aden walks to the other side of the table and sits opposite, a crooked smile on his face.

After a few silent moments of scanning the menu, the waitress returns and takes their orders before they are left alone.

They eat mostly in silence, with the occasional comment about the taste of the food, and Geoff feels like they are right back at the start. Like when they first started working together and they couldn’t seem to find anything to say. He sighs to himself and pushes the last piece of pasta around his plate.

Geoff looks up to see Aden staring at him. He shoots him a tight lipped smile, and Aden does the same in reply, and the butterflies in Geoff’s stomach flap their wings again.

Pushing his plate away, Geoff notices Aden’s hand resting loosely on the table. He’s using his right hand to twirl the pasta onto his fork, but his left is completely unoccupied. Geoff has this sudden urge to reach out and touch it. Just to slide his own carefully over the top and rest it there for a moment. But something is stopping him.

“Is this, like, a date?” The question has been hovering inside Geoff’s mind all night and before he realises it, he has blurted it out loud.

“Are you, like, a girl?” Aden responds.

Geoff just stares. He thought maybe he would get more answers, but if anything he is more confused now than he was before.

“Look,” Aden says, moving slightly in his chair, “I don’t know what this is. All I know is I like hanging out with you.”

Geoff just nods in reply.

“Is this weird?” Aden asks.

“No.” Aden just smiles, this time showing the top row of teeth.

“Good.”

“Thanks,” Geoff adds.

“For what?” Aden asks, placing his fork down on his plate and pushing it away.

“Just,” Geoff struggles for a moment, “Thanks.”

Aden nods before moving his hand across the table and taking Geoff’s within it. Geoff has to force himself to keep breathing as his hand is easily encapsulated within Aden’s grasp. The warmth from Aden’s fingers radiate up his arm and he feels a tingling sensation as Aden absent-mindedly uses his thumb to rub small circles onto the back of his hand.

They sit like that for a moment, Aden only pulling away when the waitress returns to clear away their plates. She asks whether they would like dessert. Tea? Coffee? Anything else? Aden politely declines and asks for the bill.

On the way home they are stopped at a set of traffic lights. The sky is dark outside, the moon covered by cloud. Geoff watches Aden’s profile as he drives, his jaw hard-set, eyes focussed straight ahead. The street lights from outside the car stream in through the window, looking like a halo behind Aden’s head and Geoff finds himself smiling.

Without even hesitating he reaches across from the passenger’s seat and rests his hand on Aden’s upper leg, just above the knee. Aden doesn’t even look across at Geoff, but smiles as he puts the car into gear and takes off as the light turns green.

--

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you for the comment RR1. Sorry it has been so long between chapters.

--

Chapter 4

Geoff finds himself in a good mood when he arrives home. He’s got this little ridiculous grin again and closes the door to the house as quietly as possible. They finished up at the restaurant hours ago but spent some time just driving around the Bay. They stopped for a while in the parking lot up by the headland and just watched the ocean for a while. It was nice.

When Aden dropped Geoff home neither said goodbye. Geoff just gave Aden’s thigh a soft squeeze before unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out of the car.

He’s getting himself a glass of water and is preparing to go to bed when he hears the soft pitter-patter of footsteps.

“Geoffrey?” a small voice asks, sounding partially still asleep.

“Ruby?” Geoff replies, as he turns and sees the curly-haired girl in her pyjamas standing at the bottom of the stairs. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m having a sleep over with Annie,” she replies, rubbing her eye with her small fist. “Where’ve you been?” she asks.

“Just ... out,” Geoff replies vaguely.

“With who?” she probes.

“Just, a friend.” Geoff drains his glass and places it on the sink and turns to head to his bedroom. “Well, goodnight,” he says.

“Yeah, ‘night,” Ruby replies. He’s about to turn the doorknob to his own bedroom when she calls out again, “Did you? -- I mean, -- will you be seeing them again? Your friend?”

“I think so,” Geoff says with a small smile, and he disappears into his room.

-

It’s late when Geoff gets up the next morning. He’s knows it’s late because the house is quiet, but the birds outside his room are loud. Lazily, he rolls out of bed, only in his boxers and makes his way out to the kitchen. He doesn’t even register that there is someone sitting at the counter until she speaks.

“Morning,” she says.

Geoff has to blink and stop for a moment before he realises that Ruby is sitting there, smiling brightly at him.

“Morning,” he replies. He places a slice of bread into the toaster and pours himself a glass of orange juice.

“Sleep well?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Geoff replies, slightly unsurely, wondering why she is asking all these questions and more importantly why she isn’t off hanging with Annie. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Irene had to go to work and Annie is upstairs looking for her phone. She was sure she left it down here, but now she can’t find it. She’s probably had to strip her bed to find it,” she finishes with a small laugh.

“Oh.”

Geoff shifts uneasily for a moment before his toast pops up and he busies himself spreading butter over the top before taking a bite. When he turns around again, Ruby is still sitting there, watching him intently. It’s a bit unnerving.

“So,” Geoff begins slowly, Ruby sits up a little straighter, “Do you have any plans for today?”

“Yeah, we’re heading down to the beach,” she replies enthusiastically, “You could come with us if you wanted? I’m sure Annie wouldn’t mind.”

Geoff doesn’t even have to contemplate his answer,

“Sorry,” he says, letting the small smile creep across his lips. “I’ve got my own plans.”

“Does this have anything to do with the ‘friend’ you went out with last night?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

Geoff just shrugs. He can feel his mood instantly lifting at the thought of seeing Aden again today. Whether they just get something to eat at the Diner or hang out on the trawler, it doesn’t really matter. As long as he sees him. But is he getting ahead of himself? This is unchartered waters, the path less travelled, if you will. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do next. Is it okay to call around to your -- well, to Aden’s house -- unannounced, the morning after having dinner together? Geoff doesn’t know. Maybe he’s supposed to wait, since Aden was the one who asked him out first. Or is it now Geoff’s turn?

Geoff doesn’t realise that he’s furrowed his brow and let his toast go cold as he debates this inside his head. There’s a shrill, “Got it!” and the thundering of rapid footsteps and Geoff is forced to forget his dilemma, as Annie comes down the stairs.

“I found it!” she exclaims as she skips the bottom step. She’s holding her phone in her hand and she’s slightly out of breath. “Oh, hey Geoff,” she says with a smile as Annie looks up and meets her brother’s gaze.

“Morning,” Geoff replies, something slightly off. His mind still caught up in his own thoughts.

“I didn’t see you last night,” Annie comments.

“Uh, yeah –” Geoff begins, he really hasn’t thought of a good way of explaining things. Being vague seems to work though. His jaw is still slack when Ruby interjects.

“Let’s go, Annie. The day will be over if we don’t get a move on.” Ruby stands and yanks at Annie’s wrist, pulling her past Geoff, who’s still standing in the kitchen, and towards the door.

Helpless to Ruby’s tug, Annie just gives Geoff a wave with her phone still in hand, as she is dragged out of the house.

Geoff potters around the house. He has a shower, makes his bed, gets dressed in something more than boxer shorts before he is left standing in the middle of the living room, looking around aimlessly. All morning there has been this little picture in the back of his mind. He can clearly see the way the moonlight shone through the car window, the exact shape of Aden’s jaw. The way is eyes were glistening in the darkness as he stared out over the water. And now Geoff has this urge to -- to just -- something.

He leaves the house without his phone or his keys, but strides quickly and purposefully in the direction of Aden’s house. But then he gets distracted. Distracted by the fact that it might be too soon, and Aden might still be in bed, or might have other plans that don’t include Geoff. So Geoff diverts his walk via the Diner to pick up two coffees and muffins, so he can at least turn up to Aden’s with something to offer. So he won’t be empty-handed. It’s only polite.

He’s walking away from the diner, with the coffees in one hand and the muffins, in a small brown paper bag in the other, when he spies the figure. Without even seeing his face, Geoff instantly feels his fingers tighten around the bag, the scrunch of the paper between his fingers.

He’s hunched over, shoulders rounded, hands pushed deep into his pockets. He’s standing very still, that he looks like a statue. Except that he looks up from his trance, and out over the ocean, his straight hair being tossed about by the breeze. A shudder works its way up Geoff’s back, as he is rooted on the spot.

Geoff wants to move. He can feel this inextricable pull, towards Aden. Just standing there, like he’s been waiting for him to arrive. But at the same time, his body is frozen. Completely hypnotized by the way his spine is sticking out ever so slightly under the fabric of his shirt. The way he looks so -- so beautiful.

With a determined breath, Geoff makes his way towards Aden. He seems so caught up in himself that he doesn’t even notice that Geoff is standing beside him, until Geoff offers a playful nudge at his side. Aden stops his intense glare and looks over. His face softening for a moment, Geoff can see it in his eyes, but then he blinks and it is gone. His brow is now furrowed and he’s looking down at Geoff with a similar glare he was using on the ocean moments before. Like he is looking, but not really seeing.

“Hi,” Geoff says feebily. “I was coming around to see you. I brought food,” he says with a shrug and holds up the muffins and two cups of coffee.

Aden doesn’t reply, just turns away from Geoff. He’s starting to walk now, and Geoff has to take a couple of running steps to fall into pace with him.

“I just -- I wanted to say that last night was good. I mean, fun. I mean, I dunno -- whether you wanted to do it again sometime?” Geoff realises he’s rambling, but Aden is walking away and he can’t seem to stop the words as they flow from his mouth.

Aden stops suddenly, and Geoff trips slightly in the sand.

“Not now,” Aden replies, his voice heavy.

Geoff is forced to swallow hard.

“Oh. But I just thought --” He’s not sure what he was thinking. This whole thing was ridiculous from the very beginning.

“Well, you thought wrong.”

Aden shakes his head, shoulders rounded and he turns, walking away slowly. Geoff is left standing there, the coffees going cold.

Geoff leaves the muffins in the fridge, the coffees on the counter in case Annie or Ruby or Irene come home and decide they want to know what rejection tastes like. He’s flopped in front of the lounge, feet resting on the coffee table, the TV still off. He just sits. And thinks.

He thinks about a lot of things. Like the look on Aden’s face last night was they were sitting opposite each other at the restaurant. The way his lips were moving around the spaghetti, moving it from his fork into his mouth. The way his red tongue flicked over his lips as he tasted the last bits of tomato sauce. And then the way he looked down on the beach. The dark circles beneath his eyes, the paleness to his face. The absolutely expressionless glance. It was almost as though he was just a shadow of the person who Geoff thought he knew.

Geoff keeps trying to come to some sort of conclusion, about -- well, anything. Did Geoff do something wrong? Was the coffee too much? Is Aden regretting going to dinner in the first place? Geoff knows that if he’d asked Aden, or anyone out, then he would at least have the decency to explain himself the next morning. That is the least that Aden could do.

Geoff finds himself getting angry. At the way Aden just ignored him, completely dismissed his own feelings and stalked off in a huff. He can feel his temper rising, and for the second time that day he is storming out of the house. Except this time he’s not going to be distracted by coffee or muffins or anything. He’s going straight to Aden’s house for some kind of explanation.

He thumps the wooden door hard with his fist. He’s knocking, and thumping and then he’s pounding with all his might. His frustration pouring out and being exerted on Aden’s front door. But when he finally is forced to suck a breath in and take a step back, his knuckles red and raw, Aden still hasn’t answered the door. On the off-chance something might go his way this morning, Geoff tries the door knob. It’s unlocked.

Geoff takes a step over the threshold. He gazes around the living room, taking in his surroundings.

“Aden?” he calls unsurely.

There are clothes, Geoff notices, the same ones Aden was wearing last night thrown haphazardly over the back of the lounge, some having fallen on the floor. Instinctively, Geoff walks over and picks them up, folding the shirt in half and draping it over the arm of the chair.

“Aden?” Geoff calls again. Still nothing.

A quick peek into the kitchen shows Geoff that it is empty, and the only place that is left is upstairs.

Geoff takes the stairs one at a time, his mind beginning to pound. ‘What if something has happened to him?’ Geoff thinks. He would never forgive himself if anything happened, and he was the last one who saw him, and he didn’t do anything to stop him. Maybe if he had said something, tried harder to stop him walking away, then he could have -- then Geoff realises he’s getting ahead of himself.

At the top of the stairs Geoff hears the sound of water running. He creeps carefully down the hallway, peering around the open bedroom door. There is a double bed, covers thrown on the floor, sheets wrinkled and tangled. Geoff takes a step in and gazes around the room. The water is coming from the bathroom, door slightly ajar.

He knows that he shouldn’t even be in here. That if Aden is in the bathroom, he certainly wouldn’t want Geoff snooping or walking in on him. Geoff feels himself flush with embarrassment as he realises what he was about to do. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tries to remove the imagine of Aden, in the shower, showering and being all skin and wet, from his mind.

Against the backdrop of the running water, Geoff hears something else. Something that is not just the echoing noise of water spraying off tiles. Something much more deep and jagged and erratic to be water. He hears breathing, short and sharp breaths mixed with sobs. The noise reverberating out of the bathroom to where Geoff is standing, just outside the door.

Pushing the door forward, Geoff sees him. His body soaking wet, still fully clothed, crumpled in a heap on the floor. The water spraying from the shower, directly on him. Soaking his hair, water dribbling off his face. His knees are pulled up to his chest, his forehead resting on his legs, shoulders sagging up and down with each sobbing breath.

Geoff reaches out and shuts off the water before kneeling down in front of Aden’s body. Now that the water has stopped Geoff can fully hear Aden crying. He imagines the stream of tears that must be running down his cheeks if it wasn’t for the fact that they were already wet. Geoff can feel his own eyes prickling with tears as he sees Aden in this state. He just wants to stop it, fix it, and make whatever it is stop hurting. To take the pain away, breathe some sort of life back into him, like he did before. Why can’t it be that simple this time?

Geoff reaches out and bundles Aden’s cold, wet and shaking body into his arms. Geoff can feel his shirt soaked through within seconds, but doesn’t care. He just tucks Aden’s head underneath his chin and squeezes him tighter, whispering into Aden’s ear, while rubbing gentle circles into his back.

--

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Thank you Charlene and Red Ranger 1 :).

--

Chapter 5

Aden’s tears slowly subside but Geoff does not let go until he feels Aden begin to move beneath him. Aden tugs his head away, but stays firmly pressed against Geoff’s chest. Geoff looks down to see his face, his beautiful features barely recognisable beneath the pain in his eyes, lines across his forehead and paleness of his skin.

“I forgot --” Aden whispers, his breath still short and sharp.

“Forgot what?” Geoff asks, his voice staying low.

“Her birthday.” Geoff doesn’t need to be told who Aden is referring to. Then he realises what the date is.

“Yesterday,” Geoff replies breathlessly.

Geoff can see the tears begin to well up again in Aden’s eyes and hear the thumping of his own heart in his chest. Aden goes to dip his head back into Geoff’s chest, but this time Geoff reaches out, clasping his right hand around the back of Aden’s neck. He can feel the water dripping off Aden’s hair and running down his fingers as he holds on firmly. He brings Aden’s head forward, pressing his own forehead against Aden’s, forcing him to make eye contact.

Geoff just continues to breathe. In and out and in and out and Aden seems to follow. Aden stares at Geoff, letting the dribble of water droplets roll down his cheek without wiping them away. He just watches, keeping pace with Geoff’s every breath.

He doesn’t know how long they sit there, on the cold, tiled floor of Aden’s bathroom, but it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that Aden keeps breathing, perfectly in time with Geoff, until there is only the occasional hiccough and the tears have stopped.

“We need to get you dry,” Geoff says gently.

Aden closes his eyes reluctantly and Geoff can hear him let out a breath that is lower and longer than the others, almost in defeat. Slowly, Geoff peels their skin apart, then their shirts, which are both soaked through and tied into one another. Geoff rests on heels, using one arm to hoist Aden up, like he might do if he had a broken leg and couldn’t walk. As it is, Aden isn’t helping very much. His body is now shaking from the cold, his clothes dragging him down as he attempts to stand. Geoff is under him so quickly when he thinks Aden might fall over. He’s half hugging him now, as Aden nuzzles his face into Geoff’s chest, letting Geoff guide him out of the bathroom and onto his bed.

Aden is shivering more violently now, his lips beginning to get that faint tinge of blue that Geoff recognises from that time on the boat. Immediately Geoff begins yanking off Aden’s shoes and socks, then tugging at Aden’s shirt, pulling it over Aden’s wet face and head. He grabs a towel from off the bedroom floor and pulls it around Aden’s shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down briskly along his arms in an attempt to generate some warmth. Geoff can hear Aden’s teeth chattering and his breath rattling around in his chest, but the only thing left to take off are Aden’s pants.

He gently unhooks the top button and waits for Aden to object. He doesn’t, just sits on the edge of the bed, his expression back to blank and empty. It is as though he isn’t even registering what Geoff is doing anymore. Geoff loops his fingers through the belt buckles and pulls Aden’s water-logged jeans off his body. Aden remains perfectly still as Geoff takes each of Aden’s legs out of his pants and leaves them in a wet heap on the floor.

Geoff guides Aden into bed, using the one towel to partially dry Aden’s hair before pulling both the sheets and covers over Aden’s body.

There is a little colour in Aden’s lips now, but he’s still cold and shivering. Geoff thinks about searching for another blanket when he realises that Aden is staring at him.

“C-c-cold,” Aden stutters.

“Yeah, I know,” Geoff replies, “I’m going to find another blanket.”

“No.” Geoff stops at the sudden force in Aden’s voice. “Stay.”

“Okay,” Geoff says with a nod. “But let me go and get another blanket first.”

Aden shakes his head and pulls a hand out from under the covers, latching it on to Geoff’s wrist. Geoff furrows his brow at Aden’s grip and realises that he isn’t going to let him leave, even if it is for his own good.

“Stay,” Aden repeats, turning on his side and lifting up the covers with his hand that is not restraining Geoff. There is this want and need in his voice that has an automatic pull to Geoff. It takes a moment for him to realise what it is that Aden wants, but as soon as he does he wriggles his wrist free and begins to take off his own wet clothes before sliding in under the covers.

Geoff can feel that Aden’s skin is cool against his own as soon as their arms touch, but less so than before. Aden leans forward, pressing his damp hair into Geoff’s chest. Geoff uses one arm to tug Aden’s body closer and wrap himself around his broad shoulders. Aden has snuggled into the sheets and has now closed his eyes, so Geoff is just left watching. Carefully monitoring the rise and fall of Aden’s chest, feeling his warm breath on his skin, and waiting until he is no longer cold to touch.

-

He can feel that his body is hot and sweaty and sticky. One of his arms is caught and tangled so that it doesn’t even move, his legs intertwined with what feels like another person. He can feel the limbs of this other person pressed hard against his body, what feels like an arm is tucked around his waist, the other one holding carefully to his hand, while the person’s head is nuzzled into his neck.

Geoff’s eyes flutter open and realises that instead of it being morning and bright, like you would normally expect for waking up, the room is dark and a cool breeze is wafting through the window.

And then Geoff remembers.

Aden.

It is Aden who is smushed into his side and has is jaw slack against his chest, his breath tickling his skin and making him smile.

Geoff doesn’t want to wake him. He looks so peaceful, his breaths long and steady as he sleeps. But Geoff also wants to be able to move. Carefully he turns his head, trying to figure out the best way to get his arm out from underneath Aden’s body. Geoff shifts his shoulder first, then slowly wiggles his arm free, letting Aden’s head bob against his chest as he does so. It is finally free so he can stretch his fingers, before resting his hand behind his head so he is sitting up slightly, looking down.

It then dawns on Geoff just how close the two of them are. If anyone was the walk in at that moment they might think -- But that would be ridiculous. They weren’t doing anything. Geoff was just making sure Aden was warm enough, is all. Both their sides are touching, all the way from Aden’s legs curled around his own, to their hips and torsos. At this, Geoff can feel another heat surge through his body, and not just from the body contact. It is almost a thumping that is radiating near his hips. Geoff stiffens and tries to focus. Close his eyes and count to ten or twenty or a thousand so that this stops. His breath is hitched in his chest as he realises what is happening, what this contact is causing to happen.

It’s not like it’s the first time this has happened to Geoff. He went through puberty and everything. And there were embarrassing moments in front of girls, in front of his whole English class in year 10 when he had to give that presentation but Lacey Wilson had popped a button on her skirt so he could see just enough skin to get excited. It was embarrassing, but it happened. It meant he was a normal boy. But this sort of thing isn’t supposed to happen when you’re laying in bed with a friend, a guy friend who you work with, and you’re also a guy. It just doesn’t happen. That is not normal.

Geoff tries to shift his position even more, just put a little bit more space between himself and Aden. Anything that might help, and stop the warmth coming from his shorts.

Even at this slight movement Aden begins to stir. He mustn’t have been sleeping that deeply after all. He wrinkles his nose, and buries his face in Geoff’s side, letting out a low groan from somewhere in the back of his throat. Geoff stiffens even more, holding his breath, praying that Aden doesn’t wake, or if he does, he doesn’t notice.

Aden’s eyes flutter open and the first thing he does his look up at Geoff. He has a pink mark on his cheek where he has been lying against Geoff all night, his eyes also slightly red and swollen. Geoff gives him a small, tight-lipped smile.

“Go back to sleep,” Geoff whispers. “It’s late.”

Aden blinks slowly, still half asleep. But he does move. Pulling his legs out of Geoff and using his arms to wiggle up the bed, so his head is actually resting on a pillow. So now he’s lying perfectly still beside Geoff, both arms down at his side, sheet pulled up to his chin. Like a little boy who has been tucked into a bed that is too big for him and he’s scared he might fall out.

“What’s the time?” Aden asks, voice still thick with sleep.

“Doesn’t matter,” Geoff replies, because he really doesn’t know.

“It matters,” Aden says.

Geoff rolls over, away from Aden and pulls the pile of clothes towards him with his fingers. He fishes his phone out of his still damp pocket and presses a button, making the screen illuminate in the darkness.

“Ten fifty-seven,” Geoff states.

While he’s staring at his phone he notices that there are messages. Two from Annie, one from Irene. He scrolls through them, each of them pretty much saying the same thing. ‘Where are you? Call us when you get this. ’ Geoff doesn’t feel like replying, not yet.

“Why do you need the time?” Geoff finally asks, his voice soft.

He can see Aden attempt to shrug, but it’s a bit awkward because he’s on his side. “It all counts, I guess,” he whispers.

Geoff just stares blankly back, trying to understand what Aden is explaining. He feels like he should get it, why it is important, but just doesn’t.

“It all adds up,” Aden continues, equally quiet. “Every time I think of her. It all adds up and will probably end up being a lot less than the time I don’t think of her. And that’s scary.” Geoff nods. “I don’t want to forget, but sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in -- in everything else. And then I remember. But it’s too late.” There’s a disappointment, still a raw emotion of sadness in Aden’s tone.

Underneath the covers, Geoff reaches out and takes Aden’s hand, interlacing their fingers. He knows he should probably be trying to give Aden some space, but Aden doesn’t pull away. Instead, he leans up, tilting his head towards’ Geoff’s face. His lips are pink again and full, and Geoff instinctively closes his eyes as Aden moves towards him.

“Thanks,” Aden whispers, his voice barely there. His lips graze the side of Geoff’s ear, and Geoff is not sure if it is on purpose.

-

Geoff has a hollow feeling in his chest as he creeps out of Aden’s house early the next morning.

The breeze is cold and Geoff is freezing because his shirt and pants are still damp, but he walks home anyway. He knows that he could have stayed. Aden wouldn’t have objected, but he felt like he should leave.

Geoff knows that they are currently walking this fine line between friendship and something else. Something that is so much bigger and scarier than either of them can contemplate at the moment, what with Aden still grieving and Geoff still figuring his own needs out. But while Geoff doesn’t stay the night, and their contact is only limited, they can both still convince themselves that the lines in their relationship aren’t blurred. That they can be explained away to anyone, should the need arise.

Aden wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks. He is still only wearing his boxers, but can see a pile of soggy clothes still in the corner, a reminder of the night before. He didn’t expect Geoff to stay, but couldn’t help hoping that he would. He knows that it would be too much to ask though, especially when the spot used to be filled by Belle.

For the second time in as many days, Geoff is creeping in through front door hoping that the rest of the house is still sleeping.

--

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Chapter 6

Geoff is exhausted. He collapsed into his own bed sometime around 4 am and fell asleep pretty much as soon as he stepped out of his cold, damp clothes and his head hit the pillow. Maybe even before that because he doesn’t remember picking them up off the floor, just that he stripped off and tossed them in the general direction of his bedroom door. And he completely intended on putting them in the laundry basket first thing when he woke up, but now they are nowhere to be seen.

Geoff groggily pads out into the living room, and hears the hum of the dryer. Geoff stretches, sucking a deep breath. He lets it out with a hiss before collapsing onto the lounge and flicking on the tv.

He’s watching some Saturday morning cartoon show, where the hosts are far too enthusiastic for the morning and they are hopping about the brightly coloured set exclaiming excitedly about “Birds! And Songs! And JONAS?”

Geoff is dozing off before too long; his eyelids drooping down and darkness beginning to engulf him. He can picture Aden lying beside him, his hand gripped tightly around his fingers. His hair, still damp and cool against his side when he rolled over during the night. And suddenly he wants to be back there, lying beside him, making sure Aden is safe and sound and just -- together.

But Geoff left.

By choice, he left Aden, sending a pretty clear message they both understood. They needed to forget about it. It was nothing more than one mate helping out another mate, who is grieving for his wife.

He’s in that kind of half-in and half-out of sleep zone. Where his eyes are closed, breaths long and deep, but he can still hear everything that is going on around him, but just can’t bring himself to open his eyes.

The hum of the machine stops and there is silence. Then there is the rapid pitter-patter of footsteps coming down the stairs and into the lounge room. In an instant he feels a pile of heavy material dumped on his head and he sits up in surprise. Eyes flicking open instantly and he gazes around at the heap of clothes that have just appeared around him.

“Oh my gosh!” a voice exclaims.

“What the --?”

“Sorry, Geoff. I guess I probably should have checked someone wasn’t there before I dumped all the laundry on you,” Annie replies, attempting to be sincere and failing miserably. Geoff can see she is enjoying watching Geoff struggle out of a floral dress that has somehow got caught around his neck.

He flings it in her direction, but she scoots out of the way easily. His aim is not the best when he is still half asleep, is all.

“Just -- watch it,” Geoff complains.

“I said I was sorry,” she says with a shrug, “Besides I thought you were too big to sleep on the lounge?”

“Clearly I still fit,” Geoff replies.

“Uh huh. Where were you last night?” Annie asks suddenly, changing the subject as she begins to collect up the clothes, folding them before she tosses them into the basket sitting at her feet.

“Nowhere,” Geoff gives her a hand, focusing very closely on the t-shirt he’s folding and not the question.

“Right,” Annie replies with a smirk. “Care to explain why I found soggy clothes poking out from under your door?”

“So you took my clothes?” He hands her the folded shirt, avoiding the need for an explanation.

“Well, you clearly weren’t going to do anything with them. You’re never going to get a girl if you keep leaving all your stuff lying around.”

Geoff bites down on the inside of his lip. Hard. One side of his brain wants to keep arguing, knowing that if he continues to let Annie push his buttons he will tell her exactly what he was doing last night. Then the other side of his brain, the one that periodically tells him he is insane, says that he should just let it go and it would be ridiculous to admit to something that hasn’t even happened.

That isn’t going to happen, Geoff reminds himself.

Geoff just shrugs and gets up from the lounge, tossing a shirt directly at Annie’s face. Her hands flail as she pulls it away and Geoff turns his back.

“Just so you know, I’m going to the beach for a swim. You should come.”

“No thanks,” Geoff replies.

Half an hour later Geoff finds himself on the beach, Ruby and Annie sunbathing beside him. Geoff wrinkles his nose, in much the same way he did when Annie dragged him out of the house, just when he had settled back onto the lounge to watch some serious television, without being disturbed. She’d thrown his towel at his head (What was this? ‘Dump-things-on-Geoff’s-head’ day?), and dragged him off the lounge, forcing him to change into his board shorts and accompany her to the beach. He didn’t really have much choice, because she started whining about how there might be blue bottles or sharks or something and he needed to look out for his little sister. Yeah, Geoff didn’t see her being so needy of his assistance when she was making out with Jai on their lounge every other afternoon. But Geoff did feel slightly guilty for not paying her much attention recently. There were legitimate reasons why his mind was otherwise pre-occupied but that didn’t mean he was any less immune to actually wanting to hang out with his sister. And he thought it might actually be fun. Until Ruby waltzed up to them and set up her towel beside him.

“I’m hot,” Annie declares, standing up from her towel. “I’m going for a swim. Coming?” Her question is more directed at Ruby than Geoff, but he feels compelled to answer anyway.

“No thanks.”

“I’m right,” Ruby echoes.

Annie skips down to the water, while Ruby immediately perks up beside Geoff.

“You’re not going to swim either?” she asks.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Geoff replies dryly, watching as his sister dives into the ocean, just beyond the break of the small waves.

“Me either,” Ruby says with a nod. “But it’s a nice day. Maybe you should go for a surf later?”

“Maybe,” Geoff says in a non-committal tone. He’s really trying to ignore her, directing his line of sight out onto the horizon. Ruby has always been Annie’s friend, and Geoff can’t help but notice that she has suddenly taken a bit more of an interest in him, than the girl who is supposed to be her BFF.

“I was thinking of learning how to surf. Maybe you could show my sometime?”

“Mhmm.”

Geoff feels something tickling his fingers, so he looks down. Ruby is tracing patterns in the sand, occasionally flicking some grains onto Geoff. He looks at her quizzically; she looks back up at him, her eyes sparkling under the beaming sun. She gives him a small smile, her cheeks rosy, then drops her gaze. Geoff shakes the sand off his hand and moves it away.

“Sorry,” she replies.

“It’s okay,” Geoff shrugs, although he does wish she would go join Annie in the water.

She sighs heavily, and it takes Geoff a full five seconds to catch on what is really going on. Was Ruby flirting with him?

He knows that he has had other things to think about, but he is sure he would have noticed something like this before now.

“Ruby,” he begins cautiously, her ears prick up and she’s smiling at him. Oh boy. “Have you been talking to Annie?”

“About what?” she asks.

“I dunno ... maybe, me?”

“You might have come up in conversation once or twice,” she says with a smirk.

“Right. Okay. See, here’s the thing,” Geoff says. “You’re my little sister’s friend. It would be totally weird if there was anything, you know -- going on between us.”

“Oh,” she replies, face falling slightly. “I get it.”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Geoff says hurriedly, already feeling bad and guilty and embarrassed all at once. “You’re a great girl. Really sweet and cute and funny. But I’m not really in the right head space to have a -- serious relationship at this time.”

“That’s okay.” She forces a smile, for his benefit. “I get it. I’m the sister’s best friend. Strictly a no-go zone.”

“Exactly,” Geoff says with a nod, pleased that she’s taking this so well.

Geoff decides to take his leave shortly after that. After his little chat with Ruby, Annie came out of the water, spraying water droplets over the both of them. As a result he gave her a playful shove, which landed her in the sand, covering her legs and arms in tiny grains. She whacked him across the arm in return and dragged Ruby into the water with her to wash off.

Geoff is walking back to the house, towel draped over his shoulder, thongs in his grasp when he hears his name being called. He turns, and sees Aden walking towards him.

Suddenly the issue with Ruby and the awkwardness on the beach disappears. His heart speeds up and he can feel this weird tugging in his chest. He grips onto his shoes just that little bit tighter as he approaches.

“Hey,” Aden says when he reaches him.

“Hey,” Geoff parrots.

Aden runs his hand through his hair, making it stand up at the back. A small smile creeps over Geoff’s lips.

“Listen, uh. I was thinking, we should probably get to work on the trawler. There’s a bunch of nets that need fixing and stuff.”

“Right. Sure.” Geoff can feel the knot tighten in his chest. Aden is acting like nothing happened last night. But isn’t that what Geoff wanted?

“Good,” Aden replies. He turns, beginning to walk away, when Geoff calls out. Aden stops, looking over his shoulder and for a second Geoff thinks maybe he’s expecting something else.

But his face is blank when Geoff asks, “What time?”

-

It is still dark when Geoff gets up the next morning. He pulls on his striped hoodie; he’s worn it so many times down to the wharf it is almost like an unofficial uniform, followed by shorts and shoes.

The sun still hasn’t risen when Geoff climbs over the side of the trawler. He looks around the deck of Aden, but sees that it is empty. The tightness re-appears between his ribs as he looks around frantically. Aden always arrives before him. Always.

But then he looks up, and sees him perched on top of the cabin. Aden is just sitting there, knees pulled up to his chest, eyes looking out over the water. Geoff can’t even figure how he got up there, just that he looks so peaceful.

“Hi,” Geoff says, his voice heavy, cracking as if he is speaking for the first time.

Aden looks down at him, lifting up one side of his mouth in a half-smile. He nods, down, towards a stack of crates that normally would be used for fishing. They are lined up against the wall of the cabin, kind of like a make-shift ladder, sitting on top of one another. Geoff steps forward, taking Aden’s limited gesture as some kind of invitation.

He clambers up the side of the wall, grasping onto of the overhanging ropes to stop himself from falling. When Geoff reaches the top he sits down next to Aden. Much to Geoff’s surprise, there is plenty of room for them both on the roof, yet somehow he manages to brush against Aden’s knee as he crosses his legs.

They just sit. Neither of them saying a word.

The ocean slowly changes from navy blue, to a deep rusty orange as the sun slowly rises. It appears as a glowing ball just on the horizon as Geoff sneaks a look in Aden’s direction, almost like he is making sure he is still there.

Geoff doesn’t want to be the one to spoil the moment. The moment where they are just sitting, watching, not waiting for anything. Taking the day as it comes.

“It’s a nice view,” Aden finally muses.

“Yeah,” Geoff agrees, his voice coming out as a whisper.

“I don’t even know why I came up here.” He shakes his head a little.

“We used to do this on the farm. Annie and me. We’d get up extra early and go out to one of the top paddocks to see the sun rise. We’d sit on top of the fence post and just watch.” Geoff lets a small smile creep in, “I don’t know why we did it either.”

There is another moment of silence when Aden doesn’t reply.

“I could take you out there,” Geoff suddenly says. He knows how Aden feels about the farm. He used to pay him out all the time for only knowing how to mend fences and feed sheep, he wouldn’t be interested in coming out there with him. Geoff feels a rush of embarrassment and wants more than anything to take back those words. “I mean, you don’t have to. It’s just -- if you ever wanted to -- I could show you. But you don’t have to --”

“Geoff,” Aden cuts him off. He blinks and Aden is staring at him, “That’d be good.”

Geoff lets himself smile, which Aden returns.

“Maybe it’d be good to get some space from this place,” Aden says with a nod, before he elbows Geoff in the ribs. “But we’ve got work to do.” With a swift step and jump, Aden is back on the deck, waiting for Geoff to come down.

--

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thank you RR1. Geoff and Aden's...whatever - Yep, that pretty much sums up the entirety of this fic :lol:.

--

Chapter 7

They are both out in the middle of a paddock, a shovel in Geoff’s hand, a metal fork in Aden’s. They’ve been turning the soil and digging out weeds for the best part of the day, part of Martha’s plans to plant an extensive vegetable garden on the property.

Much to Geoff’s surprise, Aden suggested a visit to the farm sooner rather than later. Obviously Geoff needed Martha’s permission first, since she own the place and everything, but she didn’t have any issues with them spending some time out there, especially since she coaxed them into helping out with some of the manual labour that was still required to get the place back to a reasonable standard. When they first arrived Geoff couldn’t believe how much the place had changed. It hadn’t been that long since he’d been to the farm but in between Geoff’s Pop dying and Martha taking over, some of the weeds had overgrown, the paint faded and chipped a bit more on the old homestead, and a few metres of fencing completely fallen over and needing replacing.

Geoff also didn’t anticipate how much he would miss the manual work. Being able to really put his back into something, so much that he was sore and aching and feeling his chest burn with every strained breath, but not wanting to stop until he was finished.

Using the back of his hand, Geoff wipes away the beads of sweat trickling down his nose from his forehead. The sun is beaming down on them, the heat radiating onto his body, making his skin tingle as it burns slightly.

Geoff can only hear his own ragged breaths and between the motions of tossing dirt aside with his spade, does he realise that Aden is no longer working beside him. They had been working in silence for most of the day, barely saying anything, but Geoff knew -- could sense -- that Aden was there. But now, there seems to be this empty space as Geoff finally looks up from the small mound of dirt at his feet.

Aden is sitting a few metres away, atop a fence post with a rather relaxed expression on his face. His lips are turned up into a half smile, and as Geoff looks up at him, he lets some of his teeth shine through.

“You’re supposed to be helping,” Geoff comments, leaning against his shovel.

“You were doing a pretty good job by yourself,” Aden replies with a shrug.

Geoff looks around at the work he -- they -- have both achieved for the day. A rectangular space of ground is now weed-free, the brown, newly upturned dirt lies on top, ready for planting. There is a wheel barrow of grass trimmings, with a bucket and another spade leaning beside it. Pulling off his work gloves, Geoff wipes his hands against his jeans.

“I was just watching,” Aden says, getting down from the wooden post. He takes a few steps closer to Geoff. “You’re really in your element out here.”

Geoff isn’t really sure how to reply, but despite the fact that he is already hot and sweaty from being in the sun all day, he can feel more redness seeping into his cheeks at Aden’s words. He shies his face away rather than speak.

“That’s why I was watching,” Aden continues. “The way you work. You put everything into what you do out here. I can see it in your eyes. You just -- you’re so comfortable. The exact opposite to how you are on the trawler.”

This catches Geoff’s attention, and he suddenly realises that his throat is dry, closing slightly as Aden approaches, a sullen look on his face. It suddenly dawns on Geoff why Aden was so eager to come out to the farm with him. He wanted to tell him that he was useless on the trawler and should stick the things he actually knows how to do, like shovelling and driving a tractor, rather than hauling netting and steering a boat.

Even though Aden hasn’t said it, Geoff already feels like a failure. He wanted to prove to Aden he could do it. To be the best partner, assistant, deck-hand, friend, whatever, that he could be. But now he realises that he is nothing more than a farm boy. Always has been, always will be.

Using the back of his hand again, Geoff reaches up to his eyes and wipes away the wetness, hoping Aden doesn’t notice. But he’s by Geoff’s side now, looking at him, like he expects Geoff to say something. But Geoff’s mouth feels fuzzy and hot and dry, and he’s pretty sure that he’s lost the use of his vocal chords.

“You belong here,” Aden says softly.

They are the only ones for miles. It is too hot for the birds to be out, they’ve already retired to the shade of the trees for the day, so there is only a slightly buzzing from a couple of flies to distract away from Aden’s words. He doesn’t need to say them loudly though, Geoff can hear them perfectly clear.

Geoff forces himself to look up, into Aden’s eyes as he continues to speak, “I know what you were trying to do. And I appreciate that more than you will ever realise. But both you and I know that you working on the trawler was never going to last. It’s not meant to be, not when there is something else that is so much more -- more you, waiting for you right here.”

It sounds so final, the way Aden says it. Like the decision has already been made, and not just about the trawler.

“And not just the farm. You still have so much ahead of you. Your whole life is still waiting to be lived. You don’t have to be surrounded by fish guts and the rough water. Don’t feel like you need to do it for me. Go back to school,” Aden urges.

Geoff knows that what Aden is saying is the truth. He realises that he’s known it all along, trying to block it out of his mind and just focus on wanting to do what’s best for Aden, rather than himself. But Aden, saying it out loud and laying it out in front of him like it is the most obvious thing, makes it so much more real.

“I’ll be okay.”

Geoff nods, still unable to find any sort of words to express what he is feeling. His mind is spinning, trying to comprehend what has just happened. One minute they’re digging dirt, tossing weeds aside, and the next Geoff is being tossed onto the pile with it. Left out in the sun, all by himself.

Aden reaches up, using his thumb to wipe away a smudge of brown dirt from his cheek. His fingers are warm, making Geoff’s cheek tingle, as it lingers on his skin. Time seems to stand still as he just holds, touches him so carefully.

Geoff can see Aden leaning in, but then he’s closing his eyes and pressing his lips against Geoff’s. And Aden is kissing him. Not like just something accidental or unintentional, but pushing his warm mouth onto Geoff’s. Geoff can feel him moving his hands around his body, fingertips creeping up his spine until they are at the nape of his neck. He holds on tight, applying more pressure. His mind has gone numb, and his skin is tingling from sunburn and Aden’s touch. And just like when Geoff was breathing life into Aden on the trawler the first time, Geoff is aware of how easily their mouths move as one, establishing an easy rhythm, but this time the roles are reversed. It is Aden who is giving Geoff the breath, the permission almost, to keep going. And to go on without him.

When they part, Geoff opens his eyes, watching Aden intently. His pupils are blown and his lips are wet. He swallows, before he speaks, voice low and hushed.

“You were there for me when I needed you to be, and now I’ve got to do the right thing by you.” He says it with so much certainty, like he’s known this point would come all along.

“It’s not that simple,” Geoff replies, voice cracking.

“We can make it that simple,” Aden says. “It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

“But what if I was liking complicated?”

Aden shrugs, “Just because we like something, doesn’t make it the right thing to do.”

Geoff doesn’t nod, because he is not sure if he agrees with that. When he was saving Aden’s life, it was the right thing. When Aden was teaching him to drive the boat, that was the right thing. When Geoff was in Aden’s bed, that was definitely the right thing to do. It couldn’t have just been coincidence that he liked doing all those things, could it?

He’s hot, sweaty and smells of dirt, but doesn’t care. He just sits in the driver’s seat, hands firmly grasped on the steering wheel as he drives. The route home seems to take twice as long as it did as they were driving out this morning, and while there are a million thoughts and emotions running through Geoff’s head as the landscape speeds past in a blur pass the window, he can’t say anything to Aden. Because he’s not sure if there is anything left to say.

Geoff pulls up out the front of Aden’s place and cuts the ignition. The silence swallows them once more as Geoff clamps his jaw firmly shut and waits for Aden to get out of the ute. But he doesn’t.

“Please don’t be mad,” Aden says. “I know you probably hate me right now, but I can guarantee it’s not as much as I hate myself.”

Geoff just stares out the front window, not even acknowledging that Aden has spoken. He can hear him sigh and shift in his seat, but he doesn’t make a move for the door.

“I’m sorry, okay? But both you and I knew that this was just a temporary thing. I was completely messed up -- I still am -- but you had the glue to somehow put some of the pieces back together.”

He can sense Aden moving again beside him, and the next moment his hand, which had been resting on the handbrake, is being held. He wants to pull away, to cut the tie that may or may not exist between them, but there is something stopping him. Like Aden said earlier, just because Geoff likes how Aden makes him feel, likes the proud grin Aden gives him when he pulls out of the docks first thing in the morning, likes the churning feeling he has inside his chest when Aden’s simply sitting beside him in the car, doesn’t makes these things right. But Geoff wants to be selfish, wants to hold onto it all for just a moment longer, so he doesn’t fight it, when Aden takes his hand.

“It will get easier, so everyone tells me,” he says with a bit of a chuckle.

Geoff finally turns his head, slowing bringing his gaze up from their joined hands to Aden’s shoulder, then his chin and lips. He wants to reach his eyes, stare into them, but doesn’t. He just watches as Aden’s lips are parted slightly, but are becoming larger as he leans across the seat. And for the second time he is being kissed. But this time it is short lived, just soft and warm and almost like -- goodbye.

Geoff shuts his eyes as Aden pulls his hand away and climbs out of the car. He hears the door slam shut, but doesn’t open his eyes. He can imagine Aden walking up the driveway, unlocking the door and disappearing into the house. But Geoff continues to sit there, eyes closed, and holding onto these last moments for as long as possible. He’s trying to memorise the feeling of Aden’s lips on his own, the way they moved, tasted, because he knows this will be the last time.

-

There is a loud creak as Geoff pushes on the heavy wooden door. He takes in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of dust, mildew and incense. A strange combination, but familiar all the same. The pews are arranged in perfect lines, an aisle down the middle which Geoff treads carefully. Light is shining in through the stained glass windows, scattering the church in colourful specks of light. Blues, yellows, reds stain the wooden seats, the marble alter, and Geoff’s face as he takes a seat.

It’s eerily quiet and Geoff was even surprised to find the church open at this time of the day. He doesn’t know why he’s here anyway. He just drove, alone, in his ute until he ran out of petrol. Feeling lost, detached, from everything and everyone. Like his own lifeline had been cut off and he had been left floundering in the middle of the ocean. It is only now, in the silent revere of the church that Geoff realises that not only was he breathing life into Aden, but Aden was keeping him afloat too. And just like that, his car had stopped, rattled to a halt, and looking out the window the building was before him.

It has been a while since Geoff has even stepped foot into a church. The last time would have been when he said goodbye to Belle, at her funeral. This recollection makes his stomach tighten, a vivid image of the tears streaming down the face of Annie, Irene, Nicole and Aden.

Aden.

Again, there his is, in a very real sense, still a part of him. In why he gets up every morning, why he worked on the trawler, why he keeps breathing. At one stage of Geoff’s life his reason for living was his faith, was God. Then his grandfather died, they lost the farm, Reverend Hall let him down, and there was the entire mess with Claudia. He knew what it was like to love and lose more than anyone. It seemed that anyone who he was close to, cared about, seemed to leave. It wasn’t fair.

Geoff closes his eyes and rests his head in the palms of his hands, propped up on his knees. He’s sat in these pews so many times, with his grandfather and sister beside him, taking in the sermon. He used to listen intently to the words as they were spoken out loud, like they were the guide to his own life. Rules to abide by, as it were. But he’d broken them all, and he had no way to put the pieces back together.

If God was always there for him, where was He now?

Where was the answer he was looking for?

--

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  • 2 weeks later...

Chapter 8

Geoff bursts through the door without knocking. He doesn’t even call out, because his chest feels like it is about to explode. Like a gravitational pull he has no control over, Geoff instantly sees Aden sitting on the lounge staring at the tv. It’s turned off, so at Geoff’s abrupt entry he automatically looks up.

Although he calls himself a Christian, Geoff isn’t sure whether he believes in miracles or even signs from above. But he doesn’t have any other way to describe what happened. The way everything seemed to make sense, even just for an instant. It was like the clouds parted, the darkness lifted and his whole world was bathed in sunlight. Like he had been living in black and white and was now seeing everything in colour for the first time.

When Aden had kissed him on the farm he didn’t want to run. He didn’t want to leave Aden’s side, but Aden didn’t know this.

Saying he was going to be there for Aden wasn’t enough. He needed actions.

The door is left wide open on its hinges when Geoff lunges at Aden, shoving him back into the lounge and covering him. Aden begins to gasp, the start of “Wha --?” when Geoff chases his mouth, gripping the back of his head and clashing their teeth together before their lips meet. It is all happening so fast that Geoff isn’t even keeping track of his own actions, never mind Aden’s. He’s pinning him tightly to the back of the lounge, using one arm rest as leverage so he can grip on tighter, exert more force.

It’s all of Geoff’s anxiety, desperation, loneliness combined. He wants Aden to know how much he needs him to be there, all the time, and needs to be able to be there in return. Geoff is nipping at Aden’s lip, sucking his tongue when he hears Aden moan, low, in response. It is a noise Geoff has never heard before. As their tongues flick in and out, Geoff can feel the vibration of Aden’s throat, rising up from somewhere deep inside him, where this noise is coming from. This just makes Geoff want him more.

He’s grappling with his body, pressing his hip into Aden’s side. Aden holds steadfast beneath him as Geoff laces his fingers into his hair. Aden’s pulls back slightly, finally taking control. He slows the pace, but continues to kiss Geoff sloppily and haphazardly on his mouth.

“Oh, God,” Geoff mumbles into Aden’s cheek.

“Let’s maybe not talk about Him right now,” Aden replies hoarsely, a smile playing on his lips as he presses them against Geoff’s skin.

“I just need --” Geoff pants, “Need you --”

“We can’t.”

“We’re not.”

“But what --?” Aden wrinkles his brow, staring down Geoff in a way while trying to shake his confusion.

“I don’t know.” Geoff sighs, letting his face fall. Aden parts his lips as if he’s about to reply, but thinks better of it.

All the tension seems to have gone from Geoff’s body. His shoulders feel lighter, like his muscles have turned to jelly, while the heat has dissipated into the air and left by convection. In such a short space of time the buzz has left him, and the consequences of his actions are finally catching up. The repercussions, the guilt, the uncertainty returns.

There is a question hanging in the air as Aden pulls away, extracting his hand from the base of Geoff’s neck, and licking his lips before sitting up on the lounge again. Geoff follows his lead, he moves away from the edge of the lounge where he was precariously balanced, to an upright position, and scratches awkwardly at the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair.

Aden isn’t looking at him now, instead he’s attempting to smooth out the creases in his shirt, where Geoff had the material balled into his fists.

They sit in silence for a few moments, each collecting themselves. There is an unspoken question lingering in the room, hovering over both of their heads. It is simultaneously something that neither want to bring up, but also the most obvious thing in the world.

“Belle” is all Aden has to say.

Geoff nods solemnly, because he completely understands. Just as much as Aden is the reason why Geoff seems to get up these days, Belle was -- is -- Aden’s. He married her. Chose her, forsaking all others, until death do they part. Until death did they part.

“What do we do?” Geoff finally asks, his voice quiet. Aden senses his apprehension.

“You’re the one who burst through my front door,” Aden says, attempting to make the situation a bit lighter.

“You kissed me first.”

“Sorry,” Aden replies.

“And second,” Geoff adds.

“Sorry.”

“Really?” Aden finally looks up, catching Geoff’s eye.

“Yes -- No -- I don’t know.” Aden admits defeat, slightly, shaking his head. “It wasn’t supposed to give you any sort of signal. So I’m sorry if I got your hopes up for anything -- more?” He finishes it like a question, as though he is still unsure about what he is trying to say.

“More?” Geoff cocks his eyebrow.

“More than me hating you, I guess,” Aden says with an off-laugh.

“So,” Geoff begins tentatively, attempting to connect the dots that Aden has laid out before him, “We’re -- friends?”

Aden is staring at him now, deliberately, directly, staring straight into his soul. Geoff feels as though he can just keep sitting, watching Aden forever. Like he would be perfectly content to never eat, sleep, talk to anyone else. He has everything he needs right here.

“Yeah, friends,” Aden decides. Geoff nods. “It’s the simplest way,” Aden explains, “Being apart didn’t work. Being together,” he says it like he’s almost afraid, wrinkling his brow tightly, choosing the word carefully, “is not an option. So it makes sense. Because I’m --“

“Married.”

“Yeah, married,” Aden muses, “And you’re --“

“Not.”

“Not into guys,” Aden amends.

“Right,” Geoff concludes. It’s true, he’s never been into guys. Not in the same way he was attracted to Melody or Nicole or Claudia. This isn’t the same thing, so shouldn’t be confused. There is a different feeling inside Geoff’s chest as he looks across at Aden’s profile, a tightness that he can’t quite explain. It’s different to the butterflies he felt before he went on his first date with Melody, the nervousness of finding the right moment to kiss Nicole. It’s something that runs through him deeper than how he felt as he wanted to support Claudia, not an obligation, but a choice. A promise.

Geoff walks home in a daze, snippets of the conversation with Aden replaying in his mind. Belle. Married. Friends? But he can’t shake the feeling of Aden’s lips on his own, the way he was taken aback when Geoff came through the door. And despite this initial confusion there was no hesitation when they connected. Geoff finds himself tugging on his bottom lip, catching it between his teeth, unable to move past this feeling. The heat that radiated between them, the shared, strained gasps for air, and the tingle as Aden traced patterns in his skin and this overwhelming realisation that he actually liked it. A secret desire that he wanted to do it again.

“How was the farm?” Annie asks as Geoff walks through the door. It takes moment for him to register that it is in fact still that same day. That he and Aden were at the farm, digging, ploughing, sweating. Kissing.

“Yeah, uh, good,” is all Geoff can manage.

“Woah, what happened?” Annie stands from her position in front of the tv, raising her eyebrows as Geoff meanders across the living room. Geoff freezes. This bolt running through him, like a shock of ice, rooting him momentarily to the spot. Geoff knows he feels different, like he has this warm glow that he’s struggling to hide. But he didn’t think he actually looked any different. There is no way Annie could know. Not yet.

But then Geoff looks down at his appearance, finally seeing what she is staring at. He’s still in his white singlet, although now it is more a shade of brown; there’s dirt beneath his nails, while his sneakers are leaving footprint stains across the pale carpet. Suddenly the only thing he can think of his a hot shower.

“I was waiting for you to get home,” Annie adds, as Geoff begins to head for the bathroom.

“Not now Annie,” he replies half-heartedly.

“I wanted to talk to you about Ruby,” she says, her voice distant as Geoff kicks off his shoes and peels off his shirt, stuck to his body from his own perspiration. Uh.

“Yeah, whatever,” Geoff answers, already imagining the warm water cascading down his back and washing away the grime. He closes the door before Annie has a chance to speak.

-

There is very little talking as they eat. Geoff is pushing a piece of broccoli around his plate, too tired to engage in any sort of conversation. He didn’t realise how exhausted he was, not only physically, he’s pretty sure his back has seized up completely, but emotionally. It takes all his energy to keep his mind focussed on one task; putting the food from his plate into his mouth. Irene tried to ask questions about his day, but Geoff simply gave one syllable answers, not even bothering to look up.

“Love, is everything alright?” Irene asks.

“M’yeah,” Geoff replies. He can feel Annie’s eyes on him, possibly trying to figure out if he is faking so he won’t have to do the dishes.

“So, Ruby is coming around tomorrow,” Annie declares suddenly, a lot louder than was probably necessary.

“Great,” Geoff says dryly.

He’s done with being social so he clears away his plate and stands up from the table. Mumbling something about having an early night and avoiding the glare Annie is burning into the back of his skull.

The covers are pulled up to his chin; he’s even taken a couple of extra pillows from the lounge to surround himself in an effort to make the bed seem a little less empty. This has never been a problem before, Geoff realises. None of his girlfriends were ever allowed to sleep over, let alone set foot (or body) into his bedroom. But for some reason after spending that one night with Aden beside him, he can’t shake the feeling that his bed is way too big for one person, even though it is only a single.

He can feel himself slowly untangling, muscles relaxing and sinking into the mattress. His eyelids are heavy, mind slowly becoming dark and empty when he feels the vibration. At first he thinks of just ignoring it, whatever it is can wait until the morning. But then curiosity gets the better of him and Geoff begrudgingly opens his eyes and retrieves his mobile phone from his nightstand.

From: Aden

Wat r u doing?

10:17pm 05-OCT-09

From: Geoff

Sleeping. Like you should be.

10:18pm 05-OCT-09

From: Aden

Cant.

10:19pm 05-OCT-09

From: Geoff

Count sheep or something.

10:20pm 05-OCT-09

From: Aden

Of course farm boy suggests sheep.

10:20pm 05-OCT-09

From: Geoff

I was only trying to help.

10:20pm 05-OCT-09

From: Aden

Kidding :-) 1 ... 2 ... 3 ...

10:22pm 05-OCT-09

From: Geoff

Goodnight. 4, 5, 6.

10:22pm 05-OCT-09

From: Aden

Night ;)

10:23pm 05-OCT-09

Bright light is streaming in through his window and Geoff groans, stretching his arms above his head, muscles flexing, toes pointing, all without opening his eyes. Between Aden’s constant messages at one minute intervals he must have somehow got to sleep. He’s not sure how because every time his phone lit up and told him he had ‘1 new message’ his heart flip-flopped and he suddenly felt wide awake. Geoff pulls himself up onto his elbow, before wiggling towards the bed head and leaning back. He lets out a content sigh.

After everything that has happened in the past year it is surprising that anything is working out in his favour. Some pretty bad stuff has happened, moments he would rather forget, but somehow out of it all he’s gained a friend in someone he never would have expected. And it’s not like what he and Aden are doing is anything out of the ordinary. It might be complicated, yes, due to the fact that Aden is still grieving, but Geoff has always been one to offer support. That was the whole point of him wanting to become a minister in the first place. He’s just supporting Aden through this rough patch since he hasn’t got anyone else. Annie has Irene, Nicole has Liam, and everyone else in the bay seems to have a matching pair for times like these. So it seems completely reasonable for them to be spending so much time together, like they are the last two cards in the deck.

And when Geoff thinks about it like that, it’s not so much of a big deal.

--

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  • 2 weeks later...

Chapter 9

“Look, love. I don’t want to pressure you, but have you given any thought as to what you might want to do next?”

Irene means well, she was certainly more accepting of Geoff’s resignation that he thought she would be. There was something in the way she let out her breath and told him she understood when Geoff had told her Aden would continue to work on the boat alone. She didn’t ask for any further explanation, no specific reason as to why he suddenly stopped going out on the trawler, and for that he was grateful.

Geoff looks up from his milkshake, chocolate dripping down the side of the tall glass, straw being twirled in his fingers.

He just shrugs in reply.

“It’s okay,” Irene continues, “that working with Aden didn’t end up the way you expected.” Geoff freezes momentarily at her words. Although he knows she is only joining the dots by the vague description Geoff has given her; that there was some small discrepancies and Geoff felt that Aden was capable of managing the boat by himself, he can’t help but read into it a little deeper. Things certainly didn’t work out the way he expected, that’s for sure.

“Martha has said I can help her out on the farm when she needs it,” Geoff replies, giving Irene a half-smile. And while he is looking forward to getting back to working there, there still seems to be this part of him that is still slightly ... empty.

Irene nods in acknowledgement, and turns back towards the kitchen, leaving Geoff alone at the table. Aden is out on a morning trawl, but that doesn’t mean Geoff hasn’t been thinking about him. On the contrary. He’s probably thought about Aden more while he’s been sitting here mulling over his milkshake in the Diner, than if he was standing right beside him. He knows it’s crazy to be this worried. After all Aden has done this before; he is certainly more experienced than Geoff was. But there is this small nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that something may go wrong. And this time Geoff won’t be there to save him.

As if on cue, his phone chirps from his pocket.

From: Aden

Hey. Miss u.

9:31am 07-OCT-09

From: Geoff

Stay safe.

9:32am 07-OCT-09

From: Aden

I’ll try : P Lunch wen i get back?

9:33am 07-OCT-09

From: Geoff

Sure.

9:34am 07-OCT-09

Geoff glances down at his watch. Only 2 hours to go.

--

“Please don’t tell me you’re wearing that.”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

Geoff doesn’t understand girls. That may not be a huge revelation, but it’s the truth. One minute they completely ignore your existence, the next they won’t leave you alone. Or your choice of clothes.

“You can’t go to lunch looking like that,” Annie says, wrinkling her nose.

“Why am I going to lunch?” Geoff asks slowly.

He’s not quite sure what happened, but once he left the Diner he was bombarded by Annie who started babbling about skin tone compatibility, and needing a push in the right direction, and other things that Geoff didn’t really understand. Now he’s standing in the middle of the living room, and Annie is speaking to him like he’s five years old.

She sighs. “You’re going to lunch with Ruby,” she says, enunciating every word.

“Since when?”

“Haven’t you listened to a word I’ve been saying?” She throws her hands up in defeat. “Ruby told me that you two spoke about maybe hanging out sometime, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold up,” Geoff backtracks. “I never said that.”

“Okay, so maybe not in those exact words, but the thought was the same, right?”

Geoff shakes his head, “No, it wasn’t. I told Ruby I wasn’t interested --”

“-- In a relationship yet,” Annie parrots. “I know that.”

“Then why are we having this conversation?”

Annie sighs once more, “Because I’m okay with it.” Geoff stares at her blankly. “You said it would be weird for you two to go out because she’s my friend, but I’m giving you two my permission.”

“Gee, thanks,” Geoff says, dead panned.

“Look, Geoff,” Annie replies. “There’s no pressure, but Ruby has been looking forward to this for ages.”

“Ages? How long have you been planning this?”

Annie gives him a one shoulder shrug, “A while.”

“And why was I not told before now?”

“Well, I tried to tell you yesterday, and the day before, but you were pre-occupied.” Geoff is staring her, completely baffled, but Annie continues, “It’s not my fault you chose not to listen.”

Geoff takes a seat at the breakfast bar on one of the wicker chairs, pinching the bridge of his nose and giving his head a little shake. He looks up at his sister.

“Okay, it’s now your turn to listen,” Geoff begins. “I’m not going on a date with Ruby.”

“C’mon Geoff,” she lets a whine creep into her voice. “It won’t kill you.”

“I’m not going, Annie. Besides, I’ve already got plans.”

“With who?”

-

Aden can’t wipe the smile off his face as Geoff finishes re-capping the Ruby-almost-date debacle. He lets out a whistle and stretches his hands above his head, revealing a little of his stomach as he stretches. Geoff is forced to avert his eyes. Aden folds his arms carefully onto the table and grins.

“Your sister is something else.”

“Tell me about it,” Geoff replies grumpily.

Aden chuckles and shakes his head.

It’s nice, just the two of them hanging out again. Not that it wasn’t just the two of them before, on the trawler, and on the farm, and in the car, but Geoff is having momentary flashbacks to that night at the restaurant, and it is finally good to be sitting opposite Aden and just being able to talk, is all. So yeah, it’s nice. And it makes Geoff think that even if Annie is still mad for blowing off his ‘date’, she’ll eventually get over it and things will work themselves out.

“So,” Aden begins, dragging out the vowel. “You thought any more about school?”

“Aden,” Geoff says, but he shakes his head. Yes, he’s thought about it, but no, he’s not going back.

“Come on, Geoff. Think about it. You’re not working on the trawler anymore, and there is only limited work on the farm, so why not?”

“I’m not going back. I’ve been there and tried it. It didn’t work out. End of story.”

“No, not end of story. It’s not too late to go back and finish your final year. I did it, and you are way smarter than me.”

“It’s not about being smart,” Geoff argues. “School just isn’t my thing.”

“I don’t believe it,” Aden disagrees. “What about you wanting to study theology? Becoming a minister? Any of this ring any bells?” Geoff looks up, trying to read Aden’s expression. Is he trying to make fun of him? Wanting him to go back just so he can fail all over again? But the way he spoke, the urgency in his voice, makes him sound so genuine. Like he actually believes that Geoff could do this.

“How did you know about that?” Geoff replies, ignoring the previous string of questions.

“Come on,” Aden says with a little scoff. “I may have hated you, but I wasn’t completely oblivious.” He’s smirking this time and reaches out to nudge Geoff across the table. For a moment, Geoff looks around, making sure no one saw. Sure, they aren’t doing anything wrong, or even out of the ordinary, but they are sitting in a corner table behind the bar at Noah’s, and this is the first time they have actually been together, but not alone.

There’s a small queue of people waiting for their juices at the bar, and the occasional staff member walks into and out of the storeroom that is nearby, but no one has taken any notice.

“Look,” Geoff finally says, “I’m not saying I still don’t want to do those things, but I feel like I’ve had my chance and blown it. I can’t go back.”

Aden reaches out and takes Geoff’s hand. His smirk has disappeared and he’s staring down at the way their fingers automatically interlock.

“If losing Belle has told me anything, it’s that life is too short for regrets. I’ve been given a second chance with you, a chance at a friendship again.” He looks up and their eyes lock, “Don’t you think you deserve a second chance too?”

Geoff can’t tear his eyes away, nor can he force himself to pull their fingers apart. He finds himself nodding, as if hypnotised by the way Aden is looking at him. It’s like he’s staring so much deeper into him, looking past the surface and into his soul. Reading and memorising every single one of his fears and insecurities, dreams and ambitions.

He is so absorbed in it all that he doesn’t notice the familiar figure who has just walked in. That she glances past the bar and spies the two of them sitting in the far corner, hands joined, talking quietly. Before they see her, she turns and leaves.

-

Geoff finally feels content as he walks home. He can’t help but smile to himself as he enters the house, but he falters when Annie is sitting at the dining room table, arms folded tightly across her chest, and she looks up at him when he walks in.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Geoff asks unsurely. If she is still mad about the incident before lunch, he doesn’t really want to get involved. But the way she is glaring at him, like she’s trying to make him drop dead right there and then, makes Geoff think it is something a lot more serious.

“Why don’t you tell me?” she snaps in reply.

“Annie, is this still about the Ruby thing? Because as much as I appreciate you trying to set me up on a date I --”

“-- You what? Don’t need me because you already had a date with someone else?”

“What are you talking about?” Geoff strolls across the room, hoping he can get out of this argument relatively unscathed, although as yet, he has no idea what they are actually fighting about.

“Don’t lie to me, Geoff,” Annie stands from the table and follows him, yanking on his arm. Geoff stops and turns around. “I saw you at Noah’s.”

Geoff waits for her to go on, although he can hear his heart thumping loudly, already speeding up in anticipation of what she may say next.

“I saw you with Aden,” she says. She’s not yelling at him like he expected. She looks rather ... sad. “You blew off a date with Ruby, for one with Aden.”

“We weren’t on a date, we were just --”

“What? Eating. Talking. I saw you holding hands!” Annie exclaims, and Geoff thinks she might cry, as her voice cracks.

“It’s not what you think,” Geoff begins.

“Then what is it, Geoff?”

“I -- I -- It’s complicated.”

“Complicated? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Look, I don’t have to explain who I hang out with to you!” Geoff finds himself getting defensive, especially if it means he doesn’t have to try to articulate his relationship with Aden to his sister.

“Don’t yell at me!” Annie raises her voice to match his.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry,” he drops his tone and takes a breath. “But Aden and I are just friends.”

He turns to leave, just to get away from this. He knew someone would see them together, eventually; they couldn’t very well stay inside forever. And it’s not like they’ve done anything wrong, so Geoff isn’t quite sure why he’s so worried what everyone thinks.

He’s almost at the door; hand on the knob, ready to walk out, when Annie’s small voice cracks. Her question making his breath hitch in his chest.

“Are you gay?”

“No.”

The reply is so simple, and he knows he means it. Geoff turns and faces Annie, so she can see the sincerity in his face. This whole argument is now bigger than just the accusation of skipping out on lunch. It’s about wanting to understand, making sure that she knows he’s telling the truth.

She’s just staring at him now with her big, wide, blue eyes. He can see a single wet streak down her cheek where one tear has escaped. Suddenly it’s not just Geoff and Annie, it’s Geoff, Annie’s big brother, protector and defender. The only person she can rely on, the only one who understands or knows her biggest fears or ambitions. Geoff suddenly wants to be able to fix things, wants to be able to tell her everything -- about the boat, the farm, the promise -- but knows he can’t, and that is what hurts the most.

“Really?”

“You know I’m not, Annie,” he says quietly. She nods, but her eyebrows are knitted together closely as though she is still trying to comprehend. Not that he blames her really. If the shoe was on the other foot, he’s pretty sure he would be having a hard time getting his head around the situation he had seen his little sister sitting so close to another girl. But Geoff supposes it would be slightly different, girls are always the exception to the rule. They go in groups to the bathroom, and are always hugging and holding hands, so it’s pretty much the norm. This however, is not the norm.

He walks slowly over to the lounge and takes a seat, using his hand to pat a spot beside him. Annie follows and perches on the edge, still not entirely comfortable.

“Annie, I don’t expect you to understand --” Geoff begins, “It’s just that -- I don’t know --” He stops himself, recomposing his thoughts. “After Belle died, we were all upset, but it was hardest on Aden. He’s just getting his life back on track, and I’m helping him to do that. You wouldn’t abandon a friend when they needed you, would you?” Annie reluctantly shakes her head. “And we were brought up that we should love our neighbour, so that is what I’m doing. You will always be my little sister, Annie, and I will always love you and would never do something to deliberately hurt you.”

“Love you, Geoff,” Annie says.

“Love you too,” Geoff replies, leaning forward to give his sister a cuddle. She rests her head on his shoulder, and he can hear her let out a sigh. As they pull away, Annie quickly wipes her cheeks, before forcing a slight smile.

“I’m sorry I tried to set you up with Ruby.”

“That’s okay. But I was hoping you could keep this between us.” Annie looks up in slight shock but nods.

Geoff can’t help but feel uneasy, like he’s somehow dodged a bullet. His breaths are uneasy and he tries to think about his sister, and how much he loves her and the fact that he’s not doing anything wrong so shouldn’t be feeling guilty.

--

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Thank you so much for the comments Carina and Red Ranger, especially the feedback on the Geoff/Annie relationship. I really appreciate it :).

--

Chapter 10

The sun is sitting low in the sky, casting long shadows through the window of Aden’s living room. The first of the night stars begin to appear and Geoff can see patches of navy blue in between the clouds.

He settles in, wiggles slightly into the lounge as the closing credits roll.

“And what did you say?”

“She’s my little sister, you know? I had to tell her something,” Geoff replies, still staring at the tv. He tucks his legs underneath him, knees accidentally knocking against Aden’s leg.

They decided to watch a movie, rather than go out, and for that Geoff is grateful. They made toasted cheese sandwiches, and now there is only a scattering of crumbs on their plates and empty glasses left.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to go out, in public, with Aden, ever, but at the moment he feels a lot more comfortable just hanging around Aden’s house. Because he knows they have the place to themselves, and Annie is not going to randomly walk in on them. It’s something they’ve built up. A king of sanctuary, where it can be just the two of them.

“Something?” Aden asks, with a slight smirk. “Is that what this is?”

Geoff sighs, “You know what I mean. I couldn’t very well tell her that we’d -- you know --” Geoff squirms slightly in his seat. “That we’d done more than holding hands.”

Aden lets out a low chuckle. “So much for things not being complicated.”

“Yeah,” Geoff says with a sad sigh.

Aden turns to face him, tearing his eyes away from the screen for the first time in 93 minutes. “You’re not regretting this, are you?” he asks.

Geoff doesn’t even have to think about it. “No,” he replies instantly.

Aden nods, “Good.”

He reaches across and shuts off the tv with the remote, his arm grazing Geoff’s knee, making the house eerily silent. Aden shifts, pulling his feet up off the floor and tugging his knees into his chest.

“I thought this might be weird,” Aden says, “Spending so much time together. I’ve never really gotten close to many guys. And -- and because of my family,” Geoff knows about Aden’s strained relationship with his grandfather and dad.

“Just so you know, I would never do anything to hurt you,” Geoff replies, hoping Aden can hear the sincerity in his voice.

“I know,” Aden replies. He reaches out and grabs Geoff’s wrist, yanking him towards his body. Geoff finds himself curving into Aden’s stomach, flattening into his side, between his chest and his arm. This is different from when they were in bed that one time, this isn’t about just needing body heat or company, but being close just because they can.

Absentmindedly Aden moves his hand from Geoff’s wrist to his hip, lifting up the hem of his shirt with his thumb and making soft circles into his skin. Geoff lets himself relax, this small movement causing his eyelids to flutter closed and a noise that sounds like “nnnggh” coming from his lips. Aden laughs breathlessly into his hair, a smile creeps onto Geoff’s lips.

“I didn’t think this would be so easy,” Aden continues, stroking Geoff’s skin. “And sometimes I feel bad for it.”

“Belle would want you to be happy.” It catches Geoff off-guard at how easily he can say her name. The sentence seems to just roll of his tongue, and he is completely content to have Aden breathing lightly on his neck.

“Yeah,” Aden murmurs. “I miss her though. The double bed feels empty with no one to fill it.”

They sit in silence, perfectly still except for Aden’s thumb gently massaging Geoff’s side, moving from his hip, down slightly to the rim of his jeans. The pad of his finger leaves a tingling sensation on Geoff’s skin. A kind of invisible heat, radiating through his skin, into each and every one of his cells.

One, two, three fingers later, Aden has his hand on Geoff’s stomach, perfectly flat around his belly-button. There is no space, no sliver of air between them, and in that moment, if Aden had asked anything of Geoff, he would have said yes. No questions asked. But at their close proximity, the heat from Aden’s fingers lingers around his hips, the hem of his shirt, the rim of his pants. Radiating up to his chest, flushing his cheeks, and further down in the opposite direction.

“Stay.”

The word slurs from Aden’s lips, overcome with tiredness and exhaustion, but Geoff immediately feels as though he is having his first ever déjà vu.

Suddenly, Geoff is extra-sensitive to each and every breath he takes. How much his chest rises and falls, the slight shiver he feels down the back of his neck as soft puffs of Aden’s breath hits his hair. A tightness seems to overcome his trousers and before Aden can open his lazy eyes, Geoff sits upright and declares that he needs a shower.

While they are close, arguably closer than he has been to anyone else in his life, Geoff isn’t sure he is ready for Aden to see this just yet.

-

“Try outs for the new summer footy season are this Friday boys,” Tony tells them, throwing an orange towel in Aden’s lap as he sits up from his set of weights. He tosses one in Geoff’s direction too, as he was spotting him.

Aden nods in appreciation, while wiping the layer of sweat off his arms, followed by his face.

“You the coach this year?” Aden asks.

“Sure am,” Tony replies with a bright smile. “I expect to see both of you there.” He points at them both, Geoff then Aden, before wandering off to mingle among the other gym members.

“Swap places,” Aden states, tossing his towel in a pile on the floor and standing up from the bench. Geoff nods before taking his place. He carefully positions his hands on the bar, gripping each of his fingers to the metal pole before bracing his shoulders. Bending at the elbows, and with Aden’s assistance he lowers the bar from its hold onto his chest. Sucking in a deep breath Geoff hoists the weight up, arms completely outstretched, heart pounding loudly inside his chest.

“So,” Aden begins conversationally, “You going to try out for the footy team this year?”

Geoff bends his elbows, lowering the bar and resting momentarily.

“Dunno,” he gasps out before he repeats the process. Exerting force through every square inch of his body, hoisting the weight exactly perpendicular to his chest and holding it there.

“I think I might,” Aden muses. Through gritted teeth and sweaty forehead Geoff can see Aden’s eyes wandering lazily from the weight in Geoff’s hands to the sweat patch on his chest, then back to the bar.

“What. About. Your. Knee?” Geoff bites out in between his gulps of air.

He catches Aden shrug noncommittally. “Dunno. It’s alright, I guess. I just,” he shakes his head a bit from side to side, “I kind of want to do it.”

Aden looks down at him, directly into Geoff’s eyes and there’s something there. Not really a sparkle or twinkle, but something that isn’t black and this makes Geoff’s heart pump even harder, and his blood suddenly feels like mercury coursing through his veins. His arms are merely dead weights dangling from his body, and in an instant he twitches, his elbow unlocks and the bar begins to fall. At almost the same moment Aden is immediately there, large, strong hands, fingers laced tightly around the metal hoisting the weight off Geoff’s chest. He didn’t even realise he had kept holding on, not breathing, but only staring. At Aden.

There is a clatter as Aden sets the bar back in its holder and Geoff lets his arms drop dead to his side. It takes him a moment to catch his breath before he sits up. The room is still spinning in a blur of other people, orange towels, green walls and the hint of blue as Aden watches on intently. His gaze never leaving Geoff’s face.

“M’okay,” Geoff mumbles into his towel as he wipes away the sheen of sweat on his face. He finally looks up. Aden has tossed away his towel and is holding out a drink bottle. Geoff takes it gratefully and gulps down the cold liquid, ignoring the slight dribble down the corner of his mouth.

“Geez, I can’t take you anywhere,” Aden says with a smirk, taking the corner of Geoff’s already soaking towel and mopping up the water dribbling down from his lips. Geoff swallows and is forced to bury his head in his towel to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. He’s ridiculous and has no idea why Aden puts up with him at times.

“Thanks,” Geoff finally says, once he’s recomposed his expression. He stands, shoving the water bottle into his gym bag, and hoists it onto his shoulder. “Were you serious about football tryouts?”

“Yeah,” Aden says with a half shrug, giving a small wave to Tony as they leave the gym, “Why not? I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“But your knee --”

“Is fine,” Aden cuts him off with a determined nod. “I’ve just missed it, I guess.”

Geoff nods in agreement, even though he is still unsure about the whole thing. But he has spent enough time with Aden to know that once he has his mind set on something there is no use trying to persuade him.

“Besides,” Aden adds, “You’ll be on the team too, so if I get injured you can patch me up.”

“Wait. What?” Geoff stops walking, staring blankly at Aden who is watching him intently back. They’re outside now, beach goers pass them by, making their way down the dunes to the foreshore, and couples are sitting at plastic tables sipping on juices while they admire the view. Aden has taken to leaning back casually against the stone wall of the surf club, one knee bent, foot resting on the bricks, examining Geoff’s abrupt reaction.

“You’ll be on the team too,” he repeats with as much certainty as the first time he said it.

Geoff shakes his head rapidly. “No, I won’t.”

“Look, I know you’re out of practice or whatever. But Tony would have to be deaf, blind and dumb not to put you on the team.”

Geoff shakes his head again. “I’m not trying out for the team,” he replies.

Now it’s Aden’s turn. “What?” he questions, eyes squinting as if he’s trying to work out if Geoff is joking. He’s not.

“I’m not trying out for the team,” Geoff repeats.

“Why not?” Aden finally asks.

Geoff shrugs and begins to walk again, his stare unfocused on the horizon.

“Don’t you remember the last time we were on the same team? You ended up with a busted knee, and I ended up in the boot of Tony’s car. I’d rather not have a round two, if you don’t mind.” He’s got the remnants of a reminiscent smile on his lips, so Aden has to know he’s joking. Mostly.

“That was ages ago. Stuff has happened since them. Things have changed,” Aden replies. “And my knee is fine,” he adds, as if it will make a difference.

“I know that,” Geoff says with a nod, “But I guess, I’m just thinking that I won’t have much time for practice and the games.” Aden is staring at him intently, eyebrows knitted together as he’s trying to decipher what Geoff is saying. Geoff can’t hold back the small smile creeping across his lips. “That is, if I’m going back to school.”

Aden breaks out into a grin. “Seriously?” Geoff nods. Seriously.

While they had talked about it and Geoff had agreed to think about it, this is the first time he has told anyone out loud. He had made his decision to finish his HSC a couple of days ago, but was waiting for the right moment to tell Aden. He hasn’t even mentioned the prospect to Irene or Annie.

Geoff would have been lying if he said he wasn’t nervous about going back. Donning the Summer Bay High uniform again, walking the hallways, remembering dates and figures in an effort to finally sit his exams, but with the broad, proud smile Aden is giving him, his anxiousness is overridden by a giddy excitement of having a second chance to do things right.

“But don’t think I won’t need breaks,” Geoff continues, nudging Aden playful with his elbow.

“I will be at your service,” he replies, tipping an invisible hat towards Geoff. He winks and takes a couple of strides ahead, as Geoff jogs slightly to catch up.

--

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