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After the Tone (by Pengzilla) - comments


valli

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Oh, yay! Another one of Pengzilla's great oneshots! And I didn't like it... I loved it! :D

“Hey, this is Martha; if you’re calling for the hi-fi then I’ve sold it. If its Macca then no, I’m not going to clean your apartment – I don’t care what compensation you offer, nothing would ever be enough.”

“If it’s Granddad then I’m fine and stop worrying. And if it’s anyone else just leave a message after the tone. Oh… and … and if it’s Jack, then what’s taken you so long to call?”

--------

It’d been 4 weeks since the wedding and since he’s seen her. That should be long enough for anyone to settle their feelings down and really figure out what they want. She hadn’t met anyone of much significance, as she hadn’t mentioned any unknown men’s names on the answer phone recording. Jack had made it onto her answer phone within weeks of their first kiss, and he felt strangely smug about that. Mainly because it had taken Ash and Cam and Michael much, much longer. Not that he’d checked.

----------

“Hey, this is Martha; unfortunately I’m out for a long weekend with my brother and won’t be back until Tuesday. We’re going hiking… and I assure you it was not my idea for a break and if I had free-will then I wouldn’t be going. If it’s Granddad I’m fine and I’ll call you as soon as I get back. If its work then I’ll definitely be in on Tuesday evening and if it’s anybody else then leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Oh, and if it’s Jack – please leave a message this time. I mean... it does sound really cute when you do that deep breathing thing when you panic… but it makes crap voicemail. You have nothing to worry about. I still love you.”

----------

And she couldn’t have hidden her grin if she tried. Her toes were curling in her shoes and her fingertips were tracing her smile.

She swallowed as she heard the beep and smiled down the phone.

She didn’t say much, she wasn’t sure how, but luckily she didn’t have to. Soon enough she heard the silent line trip and there was a warm voice just as happy as hers that spoke her name. It was filled with promises and pick up times and trips home. It was saying things like “forever” and “love” and “you”. It was the phone call she’d had in a long, long time.

I've picked out my favourite parts, mostly parts that made me laugh :lol: But the last part was such an incredibly well written ending that it just had to be a part of HM's favourite parts ^_^:P

Anyway, an incredible oneshot. You write so well, and you're making me jealous <_<

Edited by Cerise
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“Hey, this is Martha; if you’re calling for the hi-fi then I’ve sold it. If its Macca then no, I’m not going to clean your apartment – I don’t care what compensation you offer, nothing would ever be enough.”

“If it’s Granddad then I’m fine and stop worrying. And if it’s anyone else just leave a message after the tone. Oh… and … and if it’s Jack, then what’s taken you so long to call?”

“Hey, this is Martha; unfortunately I’m out for a long weekend with my brother and won’t be back until Tuesday. We’re going hiking… and I assure you it was not my idea for a break and if I had free-will then I wouldn’t be going .... Oh, and if it’s Jack – please leave a message this time. I mean... it does sound really cute when you do that deep breathing thing when you panic… but it makes crap voicemail. You have nothing to worry about. I still love you.”

Jack swallowed, trying to fight a smile that was creeping up from the corner of his mouth. But he couldn’t help it, and soon enough he felt a warm flush of pink cover his cheeks and eyelids as he gently closed them shut. The beep reminded him of the answer phone and he was adamant to leave a message this time, even though he wasn’t too sure his voice was working anymore. So he gathered himself together with a clearing of the throat.

“It’s Jack. Could you call me back? Thanks.”

She didn’t need to admit she was surprised – it was evident on her face. When she’d recorded her previous message she was sure that when she got home he’d have left her some sort of explanation, or answer, or even some witty comment that would fill her with hope. But no, he’d left her that. She was a little disappointed to say the least, though she didn’t hesitate to call him back. Besides Jack calling should be a good thing, right? She hoped so anyway, or else things between them would be a little weird now she’d proclaimed her love for him via voicemail.

“If you’re calling because you love me, then I love you too. Always have done, always will. If I’d only have known that before things got so messed up then maybe we wouldn’t have had to deal with half of what we have. But… you can’t change the past. You can change the future though, and I’d really like a future with you. Please leave a message. Tell me where to meet you. Tell me when I can bring you home. I miss you. I love you.”

And she couldn’t have hidden her grin if she tried. Her toes were curling in her shoes and her fingertips were tracing her smile.

She swallowed as she heard the beep and smiled down the phone.

She didn’t say much, she wasn’t sure how, but luckily she didn’t have to. Soon enough she heard the silent line trip and there was a warm voice just as happy as hers that spoke her name. It was filled with promises and pick up times and trips home. It was saying things like “forever” and “love” and “you”. It was the best phone call she’d had in a long, long time.

Sorry to quote so much lol, but I just looooved those bits Pengy ^_^

And how could you dare say you werent happy with it? It was perfect. I cant think of anything better :)

I just loved the declaration of love in their voicemails, and how Martha always puts a little humour into everything she says.

Excellent excellent writing!

Cant wait to read more from you very soon.

Oh and if I dont speak to you soon, good luck with your exams :)

PS, and you were spot on with the comment about Jack doing that deep breathing thing lol, he really does do that :lol: I'm glad I wasnt the only one that picked up on that :P

Edited by vale4eva
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Oh and if I dont speak to you soon, good luck with your exams

PS, and you were spot on with the comment about Jack doing that deep breathing thing lol, he really does do that. I'm glad I wasnt the only one that picked up on that :P

He does that? I honestly didn't notice. I just made it up.

:lol: Now who looks like a freak!?

Thanks about the exams, I'll be needing it. :P

Thanks valli and Rachel for the great comments. But.. Valli, what do you mean by HM? :huh:

Oh and Valli.. I'm not too happy about your sig:

Paul: I've dated a lot of blondes, but I think prefer brunettes. I can see myself marrying a brunette!

Yay! I'm a brunette! Go brunettes!

Hmm, but let us not forget - he hasn't met this blonde. :wink:

Edited by Pengzilla
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I absoulutely loved that oneshot it was great and I think it was totally Jack and Martha. Also I especially loved the messages thought they were hilarious and incredibly sweet. I loved it I hope you'll do more in the near future. Oh and one more thing I had to put in my favourite line

"Not that he'd checked" so funny again well done! :rolleyes:

Edited by mrsbrody
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I love their voicemail messages :lol: Especially their last ones, how Martha ended with "I still love you" and Jack ended with "I miss you. I love you" Soooo cute.

Thats the cutest fic ive read in a long time.

Great work :)

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She had moved to the city and rented out an apartment near her new job and probably near her new friends. He also had it on very good authority that she had a pet hamster, too. There was every possibility that she had found a happier place for herself and moved on without him.

I don't know why, but this is my favourite part. :lol:

Loved it. It's so sweet and well written.

The phone messages :wub: Perfect.

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Thanks valli and Rachel for the great comments. But.. Valli, what do you mean by HM?

HM stands for Her Majesty :P No, it doesn't, it just happens to be the initials for my very ugly name :P

Oh and Valli.. I'm not too happy about your sig:

Paul: I've dated a lot of blondes, but I think prefer brunettes. I can see myself marrying a brunette!

Yay! I'm a brunette! Go brunettes!

Hmm, but let us not forget - he hasn't met this blonde. :wink:

:lol: Well, he hasn't met this brunette either. Otherwise he wouldn't be dating Lauren :P

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Oh my gosh that was fantastic! Loved everybit!!!

“If it’s Granddad then I’m fine and stop worrying. And if it’s anyone else just leave a message after the tone. Oh… and … and if it’s Jack, then what’s taken you so long to call?”

“Hey, this is Martha; unfortunately I’m out for a long weekend with my brother and won’t be back until Tuesday. We’re going hiking… and I assure you it was not my idea for a break and if I had free-will then I wouldn’t be going. If it’s Granddad I’m fine and I’ll call you as soon as I get back. If its work then I’ll definitely be in on Tuesday evening and if it’s anybody else then leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Oh, and if it’s Jack – please leave a message this time. I mean... it does sound really cute when you do that deep breathing thing when you panic… but it makes crap voicemail. You have nothing to worry about. I still love you.”

Love the voicemail messages!!

xx

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Great oneshot as usual. :D

“If it’s Granddad then I’m fine and stop worrying. And if it’s anyone else just leave a message after the tone. Oh… and … and if it’s Jack, then what’s taken you so long to call?”

**********************************************

“Oh, and if it’s Jack – please leave a message this time. I mean... it does sound really cute when you do that deep breathing thing when you panic… but it makes crap voicemail. You have nothing to worry about. I still love you.”

*********************************************

“If you’re calling because you love me, then I love you too. Always have done, always will. If I’d only have known that before things got so messed up then maybe we wouldn’t have had to deal with half of what we have. But… you can’t change the past. You can change the future though, and I’d really like a future with you. Please leave a message. Tell me where to meet you. Tell me when I can bring you home. I miss you. I love you.”

And she couldn’t have hidden her grin if she tried. Her toes were curling in her shoes and her fingertips were tracing her smile.

She swallowed as she heard the beep and smiled down the phone.

She didn’t say much, she wasn’t sure how, but luckily she didn’t have to. Soon enough she heard the silent line trip and there was a warm voice just as happy as hers that spoke her name. It was filled with promises and pick up times and trips home. It was saying things like “forever” and “love” and “you”. It was the best phone call she’d had in a long, long time.

Those are my favourite parts. :wub: I absolutely loved their voicemails. So cute! :wub: They still love each other. :wub:

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