valli Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 This is great! I really felt like I was/knew Sally and what went through her head when she saw her daughter being hit by the car It was especially great the way you describe things, how Sally is so angry at first, then to thinking if she could have made the same mistake I can’t wait to read Alf’s thoughts around the accident It’s been said that "time heals all wounds", and with the way you ended this first part, it can be said to be true. All the thoughts in Sally’s head were negative before Pippa woke up. But when she was awake, Sally’s perspective of the accident changed. She took out the photo of her and Alf and thought that "we all make mistakes", but still she’s not able to really forgive him. At least that’s what I thought after reading this. Sorry for rambling; my conclusion would be: great first part, can’t wait to read the next! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Bee Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Great Story I love the way you are actually in the characters mind when you are reading this. Can't wait for the next installment Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lesley Bee Posted February 11, 2008 Report Share Posted February 11, 2008 Fantastic update I felt like i was Alf, if you know what i mean, i could feel every emotion that he would be feeling. I love your style of writing, very descriptive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inactive User Posted February 13, 2008 Report Share Posted February 13, 2008 Wow nice fanfiction. Loved it It was a scary episode when Pippa got hit by the car. But this is very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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