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Ali_

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I'm not sure where the first part of this story went so I decided to just make a new topic, if i find out where it is I'll just add it to the old one and continue from there.

It's going be pretty angsty for a while but hang in there!

I don't know when the next part will be up (maybe a week). Feedback makes me smile :)

************************************

Ric wasn’t quite sure how to handle what he was seeing, he didn’t assume it was Matilda’s pregnancy test right away because it was Sally’s house so he first thought of Cassie but then he remembered Maddy crying and dodging the topic of why.

Ric wasn’t a panicker by nature and this definitely wasn’t a life or death situation..okay well it kind of was but not his life or death it was a potential baby's he had never met.

Matilda tried to clear her head but she knew deep down she wanted an abortion already. She decided to be fair to herself and go the doctor about it, she wanted to know how likely it was to be Ric’s.

Ric came back from the bathroom looking pale.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing I just think I’m coming down with something.”

Maddy put her hand to his head.

“You’re not running a temperature but maybe you should lie down and I’ll bring you up your lunch.”

“Okay.”

Ric wanted time to think and he knew Cassie and Maddy would boss him around until he agreed so he saved himself the verbal abuse and marched himself upstairs.

Maddy let out a breath of relief.

“That was close.”

Cassie nodded.

“So I’ll run you to the doctors now if you like.”

“Thanks but I’d rather you take care of Ric, I’ll feel better going alone I think.”

“Are you sure?”

It wasn’t that Cassie didn’t want time alone with the man she loved but she cared more about the well being of her best friend. Cassie felt guilty in the fact she felt slightly hopeful when she heard Maddy was pregnant because she knew it would shake up Maddy’s relationship with Ric. It was a terrible thought but she wasn’t going to interfere she was simply going to hope and wait for when they broke up prematurely and then would be Ric’s shoulder to cry on. It definitely wasn’t being the bigger person but she had finally realised Ric was ‘the one’, the time away had made it clear to her that Ric was what she wanted every day and forever and she didn’t want to give up someone she loved and was committed to with such conviction.

It wasn’t that Maddy didn’t deserve Ric it was that she deserved someone different.

**************************

Maddy sat in the waiting room of the health clinic and bit her nails, finally she was called in by a nice looking female doctor she had never met. That was one of the good things about being out of town for a year is that she didn’t know recent additions to the bay such as Dr. Harlent and they didn't know her.

“Good afternoon take a seat, I’m Dr. Harlent.”

“Hi.”

“So what can I do you for today?”

Maddy looked at her shoes and swallowed, she knew this would be hard but the decisions she had in front of her would be worse, in fact probably the hardest she’d ever have to face.

“I’m pregnant.”

“Are you sure? I mean you’ve taken a pregnancy test?”

“Of course.”

“Okay, how far along are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well by the look of you you are obviously in your first trimester. Do you have morning sickness?”

“Unfortunately yes.”

“That’s okay it only occurs in your first trimester.”

“It’s not just that though.”

“You have pain?”

“No I was raped about a month ago and since I’ve been sexually active with one other guy so I don’t know who the father is.”

“When you were at the hospital did they give you the morning after pill?”

Maddy sighed.

“I didn’t report anything or go to the hospital.”

She expected a lecture or a stern look but Dr Harlent just nodded thoughtfully.

“Do you know the identity of your rapist?”

Maddy shook her head.

“I really can’t be sure, that’s why I didn’t accuse anyone.”

"To take a paternity test which means you need DNA from both maa.”

“Okay well the thing is to determine who the father is you have to take a paternity test which requires DNA from one or both males."

Maddy nodded suddenly aware of what she wanted to do.

“I don’t want to keep it.”

“Wouldn’t you rather know whose it is first?”

Maddy felt herself tearing up.

“No it makes it easier if I don’t know but my answer will be the same. I’m sorry.”

Dr. Harlent smiled warmly and handed her a tissue.

“You have nothing to apologize for, it’s your body and life and you can only do what you see fit.”

“Thankyou but I don’t think anyone else will see it that way!”

“Well whether you choose adoption or abortion nobody should pass judgement on you as you only have to answer to your own happiness and nobody elses.”

“You’re right I just feel so guilty.”

“Are you thinking adoption, abortion or are you not sure yet?”

“Definitely abortion.”

“Are you positive? I know I sound like a broken record but I have to make sure this is your absolute resolve because it’s a big decision.”

“It’s definitely what I want.”

“Okay well you first have to go to a few counselling sessions before you have the abortion just to re-highlight the pros and cons of what you are doing for example you’ll be less fertile for future conception but once those are over we’ll book you in for the procedure.”

“Okay.”

“Sounds pretty scary right?”

Maddy laughed lightly, she was so relieved she didn't have to argue for what she wanted.

“Yeah just a bit.”

“Well you’ll be fully informed of how the whole thing will work beforehand so that will take away some of the fear hopefully. Do you want to schedule it all in now?”

“Yeah I don’t want to draw it out any longer than I have to.”

************************************

“She’s pregnant Ric.”

Ric spat out his coffee that he was drinking at the kitchen bench.

Cassie sighed.

“I know I shouldn’t have broken her confidence and she may hate me for it later but I had to let you know that it could possibly be your child she is having sucked out of her.”

Ric knew that meant she was having an abortion but his mind was reeling trying to procees the idea that all he could think of was how disgusting it was to say ‘sucked out of her’ sure that was what happened but guys like Ric were happy in their ignorance about the actual procedure.

“I guess I sort of knew.”

“You knew she was going to abort it?”

“Well no but I had a feeling she was pregnant ever since I saw the test.”

“Why didn’t you say something! It’s been a week and she’s getting rid of it in a few days!”

“I thought she’d tell me when she’s ready I can’t believe she’s not going to!”

He was so angry and he wanted to hate Maddy but he couldn’t which made him even more annoyed. She had preached about trust and communication between them but then when something huge happened in her life she doesn’t even tell the man she claims to love. It could be his! Didn’t he have a right to know?

He felt so helpless and yet slightly relieved, a child definitely wasn’t in any five year plan or any priority list he had and Maddy had made the decision for them both which sort of took off some of the pressure but it didn’t make him feel any better.

*************************

Maddy came home and made herself a cup of tea. She felt exhausted - mentally and physically. She was throwing up most of the morning (luckily after everyone had left) and then had her last counselling session before her abortion where she had to tell the counsellor again for the hundredth time she was comfortable with her decision. That was a slight lie because she felt overcome with guilt for not telling Ric but when should giving up a baby ever be a comfortable decision anyway? She knew she’d have to tell Ric after she had the abortion because she couldn’t be with him when she had kept something so big from him but that was a hurdle she could deal with once she was in the clear.

Her ankles hurt and she felt lightheaded which after the day she’d had didn’t equal a very good mood so when Ric came storming in ready for a fight she sat down straight away.

“We’ve over, you me, over!”

Maddy inhaled slowly.

“What?”

She knew Cassie would have interfered and told Ric the truth which would explain the anger but she needed a moment to process the coming argument that she hadn’t expected for at least a week.

She laughed inwardly that coming back to summer bay was supposed to have been a relaxing break.

“You’re pregnant for one thing and then I hear you’re going to abort it without telling me any of it?!”

“Cassie had no right to tell you any of that.”

“No that should have been you!”

“I was going to!”

“When? When it’s too late for me to have any say?”

“Have your say then! It doesn’t make a difference you can’t change my mind!”

“Well you’ve shown just how little you respect me Maddy, good job I’m finding out sooner rather than later.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know.”

“Looks like Cassie got what she wanted.”

“What?”

“I think you know!”

“This isn’t about her it’s about us!”

“No it’s about me and my body. I respect your opinion but in the end it’s my body and my life we’re dealing with I mean who knows what the future holds and I have to do what I think is right! I didn’t tell you because it would just make it harder and hurt more to come to the same conclusion!”

“Turn the tables and put yourself in my shoes how do you think I feel?”

Maddy screamed at him at the top of her lungs surprising them both.

“It’s not about you! How do you think I feel? I’m sick and tired and I have to terminate my baby! It’s not an ideal situation for either of us but you wont have the lasting damage will you? I want to be a mother I really do but not like this and it hurts so much not to have my fairytale baby and family like I wanted for myself because it’s tainted now knowing in a year or in ten years from now that I could have had a son or daughter walking around in the world and it was my decision to stop them having a chance.”

She burst into tears and Ric instinctively walked over and embraced her.

“I’m sorry I lost my temper but it didn’t just have to be your decision we could have talked about this! I would have supported you no matter what, but not telling me was wrong.”

Maddy sighed.

“Everything about this is wrong, I’ll have yet another secret from my family and yet another horrible memory and I have to live with the guilt of my actions but I don’t want to have to deal with us fighting through it either so just go.”

“What?”

“You’ve said we are over and I understand why, maybe it is for the best and I don’t want to try and make it work like I’ve seen family members do before and only end up fighting constantly and making each other miserable. Please just leave me to work this out alone.”

“I’m not leaving you I love you and you’re not going to push me away because you are hurt.”

“Please go.”

She whispered tearfully and moved away from him.

“No way I’m here for you whether you like it or not.”

“Just go away! Don’t you understand every time I look at you I think of what could have been and I’ll feel like I’ve disappointed you every time too I don’t want to be near you right now unless that suddenly changes.”

Ric felt like she had ripped out his heart put it through the grater.

“Maddy you make it so hard to be with you.”

“So don’t.”

“Fine.”

And he was gone, that night Maddy had never cried so hard in her life.

****************************************

Ric couldn’t concentrate on his work the next couple of days, he felt sick with worry about Maddy knowing what was happening to her but he was also angry because he knew he couldn’t support her when she was so confused about him. Cassie had been around to apologize and gave him updates after the abortion but it wasn’t the same.

He was walking along the beach staring out at the sea moodily so he didn’t see Henry storming over to him until it was too late and he was punched square in the jaw.

“Ow!”

His automatic reaction was to push him backwards which Henry recovered from and immediately pushed Ric over until they were rolling around in the sand.

“Oi! Break it up you two whats got into you?”

Alf put his arms in between them until they eventually split apart.

“What’s this all about?”

Ric frowned.

“Yeah I’d also like to know what I’ve done to deserve being punched in the face!”

Henry was staring daggers at him.

“You know exactly what you’ve done you jerk!”

Alf shook his head.

“Both of you go cool off and if I see you fighting like this again they’ll be hell to pay understand?”

They both nodded reluctantly and Alf walked away.

“Whats up with you? Didn’t take your meds this morning?”

Henry laughed in disgust.

“How can you make a joke about it after what you’ve done?”

“And what’s that exactly?”

“My sister has been crying her body weight in tears over you, she got pregnant and you dumped her!”

“I did not! Is that what she said?”

“She hasn’t said anything and neither have I, I’m not stupid but I wanted to have it out with you. She’s been sick in the mornings and a counsellor person called about confirming an appointment and I knew then what was wrong and then suddenly you disappear and I don’t see you around coincidentally around the same time? It’s not that hard to see what you did.”

“Do your parents know?”

“As if! They wouldn’t expect anything like this in a million years plus I told them it was about school to throw them off any potential scent but you have to fix your mess!”

“I didn’t dump her okay? I told her I’d support her whatever she did but she pushed me away and practically broke up with me!”

“So?”

“You really did go crazy.”

“So what if she pushes you away! It’s just an act so that she can become a recluse and hide away with her problems like she always does. Ever since we were little whenever she’d hurt herself on the farm instead of running to mum for help like I did she’d run into the forest and cry on her own. Mum would have to go out and search for her but when she finally found her Maddy let her in. You just have to be persistent and you have a responsibility for being so dumb as to knock her up.”

“Wow you’re a regular Dr Phil.”

“No one hurts my sister least of all someone like you who didn’t deserve her in the first place. Make things right or else.”

He walked away and Ric was left with a bruised jaw as well as a bruised heart.

*************************

So yeah I guess it's not the conventional route to take having Maddy abort it but everyone in Summer Bay seems to keep their babies no matter how bad the circumstances are and I wanted to have someone who had a different perspective on it which isn't neccessarily the wrong thing.

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